honey | a shay perez promo | arrival

(kayfabe. much love to Archer 🫶)

”Oh, Shayla… sweet, sweet, Shayla… you really signed that Arrival contract? No hesitation at all? No second thoughts? Babe, who let you do that? I saw the contract too, but never did I think you’d be such a doll and sign the thing! What a brave girl! I mean, I ire the confidence. It’s completely misplaced, but it’s cute! It’s like a little kitten pawing at a tiger, just cute! Wait wait wait, I just now ed… you’re a champion, aren’t you? Like, not a participation trophy winner, but an actual champion!... HA!”

”You poor thing! You were doing so good too! Royal Territory Women’s Champion, Kylie Cole’s bodyguard, I mean… I guess you weren’t doing THAT great, but still! What a bummer that you have to LOSE to the “Stargirl!” Shay Perez!”

”Wait, Shayla… you don’t actually think you stand a chance against me, do you?... HA! Sorry babe, but this is the big leagues hun! Here, let me introduce you to some of the talent we got here… There’s Alpha Ripley (who you’ll never beat), Genesis Reyes (who you’ll never beat), Danielle (who you might actually beat!), Sierra Austin (never in a million years honey :) and finally, MOST importantly, ME, Shay Perez! I would show you around more, but you won’t be here much longer anyway!”

Shay laughs maniacally, her voice cracking slightly as she focuses back on the camera, a wide grin painted on her face.

”God, I just can’t believe how STUPID you really are Shayla! I mean, your finishing move is my signature move! That little wannabe scorpion kick you do? Yeah! I RULE at scorpion kicks! The entire XWF roster knows that VERY well! I didn’t just survive the XWF Hardcore Rumble… I DOMINATED IT! I RULED IT!”

”Shay Perez is the best women’s striker on the planet, and it’s not even close! I have knocked out girl after girl, and Shayla, you’re welcome to get in the line, because at Sweet Dreams, Tennessee, if you DARE to show up… I will kick your teeth so far down your throat that you’ll be drinking dinner smoothies for the REST of your LIFE!”

Shay once again takes a moment to laugh, her grin widening even more with each laugh. However, her expression wasn’t a joyous one, but a cynical one.

”The more and more I think about it, I can’t FATHOM why you accepted this match! Seriously! You win one little belt and think you can beat Goliath! Yes… Yes! I’m the Goliath to your David, Shayla… but this little match of ours won’t go down like the famous bible story…”

”“At Sweet Dreams, Tennessee… I won’t stop until I hear your bones crack. Your blood will stain the mat. Your teeth? Gone. Your body? Broken. And when it’s over, I’ll hold you, Shayla… because you didn’t deserve this.”

”You didn’t deserve to die by my hand! Those MONSTERS running ARRIVAL Pro Wrestling will be held responsible for the death of Shayla Woodward’s CAREER!... Seriously, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!”

”also! also! Don’t think I didn’t see what that slick little comment the ARRIVAL social media team said about me. They called me crazy! Said I wasn’t right in the head! Frankly, the only thing that isn’t right with me is my waist, it's perfect for a world championship! You know what, i’ll wear the XWF Women’s Championship on my shoulder, so I can keep my waist clear for the ARRIVAL Women’s World Championship! Won’t it look so pretty! I can see it already, it’s written in the stars!”

”Shay Perez: ARRIVAL Women’s World Champion!”

”God, that just rolls off the tongue so well! Now! Back to business, Shayla Woodward… you should pack up your bags and head back to Royal Territory. It would be a shame if you had to vacate that little women’s championship because you got hurt facing the BEST Women’s Wrestler Alive! Imagine the disappointment of all those fans, of everyone in management, if their Golden Girl, Shayla Woodward, gets horrifically injured and embarrassed on such a big, national stage! Over there, you get treated like midcard fodder and are completely okay with that! Shayla Woodward is COMPLETELY OKAY with being overlooked and underappreciated!... but not me! Nononono! I REFUSE TO BE OVERLOOKED! I AM THE PRODIGY! I AM THE ESSENCE OF CELESTE! I AM THE STARGIRL, AND I WILL BURN SO BRIGHT THAT YOU CAN’T THINK OF ARRIVAL PRO WRESTLING WITHOUT SEEING ME HOLDING THAT WOMEN’S WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP ABOVE MY HEAD!”

”Shayla...At Sweet Dreams, Tennessee, i’ll tuck you in, kiss your little career goodnight, and leave you looking up at the stars, or in this case, THE STARGIRL, Shay Perez!... Sweet Dreams babe! That’s all you’ll have left after i’m done with you…”