Keep the dead in your memories,
and bring them back to life
with every tale you tell of them.
╭ Bit of a Warning ╮
Heavy Themes
╰ ╯
╭─── ｡(＾･ᆺ･＾)｡ ───╮
Stories Are
Their Own Magic
╰────────────╯
![Stories Are Their Own Magic [POEM]-[IC]Keep the dead in your memories,
[IC]and bring them back to life
[IC]with every tale yo](https://image.staticox.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpm1.aminoapps.vertvonline.info%2F7646%2Fc8eb6124fa078703e2593f66e29fd6fa82e46780r1-600-858v2_hq.jpg)
ıllı 新岡良平 ıllı
Cover Image
── =^._.^= ∫ ──
“Do you have a magic spell
To return someone to life?”
A question asked a thousand times
By those whose smile betray their eyes,
A hidden vice by the townsfolk
Whose hopes had went along with smoke,
A story that's never written
Is in their heart, ever hidden,
Tale that's never meant to be told
Even when the season turns cold,
Desperation laced in their voice,
Devoid of what makes them rejoice,
Haunting is their eyes that hunger
For the time when they were younger,
To go against the marching time
Is but hubris, is but a crime,
Death can never be undone
Once the sands of time has begun,
“Truth be told, there's no such spell
That can go turn back one's clock.”
An answer that is repeated
To the one who feels depleted,
And their frustrations only grew,
Though not something out of the blue,
'Tis cruel fate's cruel reply
That even I cannot deny,
Life's plan that's hitherto unknown
Shows nothing but desolate stone,
The memories of their loved one
Will soon be ash against the sun,
Like a scent left by sudden rain,
Washing away menial pain,
“Why don't you tell me of them,
Their name, their life, their story?”
And so they shared to me the tale
Of their loved one over some ale,
Memories they kept to their own
Is now something not known alone,
Their loved one's life kept pouring on,
Their miserable face, now gone,
And with each word, a lighter tone,
Accompanied with smiles that shone,
“And that's their whole life story,
Will that bring them back to life?”
They questioned me with a soft smile,
With words of truth and without wile,
No hidden pangs of crippling hate
That once reduced them to a state,
“No, it won't ever bring them back;
They now remain in memories,
But stories are their own magic—
For even in a little while,
It's like as if your loved one's here.”
── =^._.^= ∫ ──
ıllı Patricia Roig ıllı
BG Image
Comments (17)
Hello Kyrie, this is Annie from the committee. Thank you for using our group tag as well as my own review tag! This piece is so well-written and I really enjoyed reading it.
The title, and the first quote about keeping dead people alive through their tales alone made me want to know more, to keep reading to see if it’s a poem about someone who left their footprints behind. These kind of concepts and subjects reel me in real quick as I’m a sucker for past stories and experiences. Though good of you to add a TW in the beginning, I wish more people followed the protocol. I feel like each poem of yours is built around a different subject which is so commendable as you’ve written far too many!
There are discrepancies and breaks in this poem that I felt as if I read three different poems instead of one. Now I’m not sure if that was your purpose/intention with this but this is how I interpreted it personally. The first one swims in nostalgia and memories about a band of warriors who all fought for the wrong side. Believing in their cause so deeply they gave away their lives only to find out they died for a hoax. But it can never be done once the clock starts to tick. The following lines are a good reference,
“Desperation laced in their voice,
Devoid of what makes them rejoice,”
There is no magic spell that could bring them back from the dead. And now they live only through the tales recounted and retold by the townsfolk.
“Truth be told, there's no such spell
That can go turn back one's clock.”
An answer that is repeated
To the one who feels depleted,”
Then comes the perspective of the dead soldier himself. It’s like fate’s way of telling them that the rest of them, their echo and evocation is now permanently turned to stone, they can’t change anything except be mindful that they will live through their tales. That the people, friends, family, significant other etc will also meet the same unknown one day. It’s just how life is, birth, death and rebirth. A cycle that even the fate couldn’t deny.
“Why don't you tell me of them,
Their name, their life, their story?”
And finally we have the perspective of the narrator. He is the one who tries to bind the different viewpoints for us. He seems to be surrounded with folk of the town who have someone they lost, someone they continue to long for, seeking answer to an important question which can ultimately give them the peace. “Will their life story bring them back?”, to which the narrator gives a satisfying answer. I loved how the mood got lighter by the time they finished telling their story, also the narrator seemed like a learned man, quite similar to a sage but not really. The ambience in the last few stanzas painted a picture of an old, country style bar that greets same people every day until the arrival of the narrator.
I really liked how you wrapped this poem by leaving the poem open-ended, on a metaphorical note full of wisdom and symbolism. However, I wish it wasn’t all tell-tell. The final perspective needed to have more story, the same cadence and emotional resonance as the first two to make it overall compelling and reverberating. The melancholic tinge that was felt in the first two stories was suddenly erased, now I’ve no complains about wanting it to end on a lighter note but I wish the transition had been smooth.
The structure and good rhythmic quality was duly noted. Meanwhile, the italicized lines in between gave the poem its much needed tether. The rhyme scheme was really smooth overall but quite jarring at certain places, almost making it feel forced. Therefore, I recommend a reread and a second round of editing. Considering that you completely nail the language aspect of the poetry, I think it’s worth it to now remove even the slightest issues to really make your writing shine in this piece.
Overall, I really enjoyed this poem and think that you created a meaningful, thoughtful piece with the subject you chose. I just wish it to be a little mort show than tell.
Once again, thank you again for using our review tag as well as my own. It’s always a pleasure to read and review your work. I hope you're feeling happy and healthy. Wishing you a wonderful day/night! Until next time!
❃-Annie ❃
Thank you so much for your input Annie! I appreciate the effort of your lengthy , as it's a rollercoaster of emotions... at least, that's how I feel about it. And I agree with your comment 'bout the rhymes— trust me when I say I want to hit my head when rereading it time and time again, yet I oddly feel content about it, like it's fine.
Anyway, I'm not that great with abbreviations... so, um, what's TW?
Reply to: Kyrie
trigger warning :skull: :skull: :skull:
and you're welcome :blossom: :hibiscus:
It reminds me of an old friend I lost years ago, made me think of her and cherry blossoms. I love this so much.
Sooo Good1
Thank you!!
I've been to dead these days.. I missed your poems... And do I need to remind you that this one is also amazing like the previous ones? No? Well XD whatever..in this freaking writers' block that I'm having, it's nice to read your works! (Perhaps they might help me break this stupid block. Would you mind if they do? :eyes: )🖤 :purple_heart: 🖤
BTW, did you miss my comments like I missed your posts?.. Err never mind!
Nice to see you again, Luna! And thank you for liking my poems! Anyway, I hope you do get rid of that writers' block and all :smile_cat:
And not only you, it seems like I might soon end up hitting a wall as well... especially since, well, *that*...
Reply to: Kyrie
You're having writers block too? :scream: :scream: And still writing such - - - -?!!! Omg omg omg! I'm having a heart attack! :scream:
You are soooo veryyy luck- (umm.. No.. lucky's not the word..) you are such an amazing poet. Oh dear! Please help me :sob: :sob: for I'm still wondering if I would be able to participate in the recent challenges of both Poet Society and Fantasy Club :sob:
PS. I'm just kidding btw. Ik you're busy with yourself.. No need to worry about me lol :purple_heart: 🖤
Reply to: Luna「hiatus」
Hang in there, friend~!!
This poem really hit me hard, it brought tears to my eyes. Today is the 1 year anniversary for my grandfather’s death. This poem warms my heart so much. I love it! :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :two_hearts:
Thank you, and my condolences...