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I realize this is a very sensitive thing, but it's one close to my heart. Sadly. This is an important topic that I personally think isn't covered enough. So I made this post.
:warning:
Warning
Themes of child abuse and neglect. If you are extremely sensitive to such things please do tread carefully on this post if you decide to read it. This is meant to be a more positive geared post to try and help people who struggle with parental figure who are abusive or do not accept them.
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You deserve to be loved
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Many people have things they're dealing with at home. Some of these are things they shouldn't have to. Let me make it abundantly clear-
You're entitled to food, it's not a privilege.
You're entitled to a roof over your head.
You're entitled to a place to sleep.
You are entitled to school.
If your parents pretend or act like any of these things are things they did for you because they "chose" to do for you, you have all the right to hate them for it. You deserve a loving and accepting family. Everyone does.
Parents who give their children things, yet refuse to accept their child for whatever reason, are still not good parents. When you are a parent it's your responsibility to supply your child with a good home life, love, and . Wether they're cis, trans, het, gay, lesbian, bi, pan, non-binary, ace, or anything else.
Love and care is something that you cannot just withhold from a child. It's abuse to refuse such things. If they refuse to call you by your right pronouns? Cut them out of your life. If they won't let you date someone of the same sex? Cut them out of your life. You may be stuck now, but one day things will get better. One day you may have your own family. Or if you'd rather not, have many friends who'll stick by you through anything.
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You're not ungrateful
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If you're told you're being ungrateful. Don't listen. The bare minimum is nothing to be grateful for. They clothed you? It's illegal not to. Fed you? Still illegal not to. Didn't cast you out on the streets? That's illegal, and saying you could have done that to your child is itself abuse.
You are allowed to love your parents just as much as you are to not love them. You don't owe them anything. I know it's hard to deal with, I'm in a bad situation myself. I'm constantly barrated for being afraid of my parents or flinching when they get near me. They yell at me when I twitch or stutter. I've been cussed out multiple times.
People are not as aware of the long term affects of emotionally abusive or distant parents. It's not talked about as much. Which is why for some people who deal with it- it's harder to get help for. But you are not ungrateful for anything. You are simply trying to be yourself, and there's nothing wrong with that in any way.
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Getting help
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There are many different ways to get help. I'll leave a few links and the like below. As well as phone numbers and texting numbers for if you feel the need to talk with somebody. I hope that this is useful to some people, or maybe made them feel better.
Trevor Project
Text- 678678 (Monday-friday 3pm-10pm EST)
Call- 1-866-488-7386 (24/7)
Crisis textline (USA)
text- 741741
If any of you have more feel free to tell me and I'll add them.
Comments (18)
I completely agree with you on this.
I have a similar article titled “Blood is not thicker than water.” I didn’t put it here though.
I have a traumatic and terrible past (family-related) but somehow I was able to overcome everything and become a better person that I am now. :blush:
That's great. I'm really happy for you.
Everyone one has a father but not everyone has a "dad"... I know from experience. That son of a bitch knocked up my mother, then left her before I even left the womb. He refuses to acknowledge his first-born, he acts like I don't exsist.
Oh, I've met the piece of shit. He subbed TWO of my piano lessons.
HE SAID NOTHING!!!
MY OWN MOTHER SAID NOTHING!!!
And when she finally cracked and fessed up two years later, you know how she put it?!!!
"I didn't want to get pregnant, but I wouldn't have it any other way."
Nice save, ma! Nice. Mother. FUCKING save! You know you'd be better off without me. Your daughter who was born as a son, falling in love with every boy who crosses her path only to be taken for a ride and cast off by everyone she ever fucking loved! All in a shitty town where shitty people go to be shitty to each other!
Damnit... I'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear me rage anymore. I'll just leave now...
Reply to: FurryPunk ~TAKEN~
Don't apologise I understand. Venting is something that's healthy and good to do every once and a while.
Reply to: ⚔Adrian⚔
Oh... okay, well thank you. :blush:
Reply to: FurryPunk ~TAKEN~
You're welcome
I feel as if people need to know this more, as it's a big thing that people have going on in their lives, although unfortunately, some people may misinterpret this and think their parents are abusing them even though they're not. Nobody has to love their parents, though, and I struggle with trying to forgive myself for disliking one of mine. As I said, people need to read this, so great blog!
My parents dont abuse me, but one of them is always saying "I put food on the table for you! I put a roof over your head! I pay for you're clothes! The least you can do is respect me for it" and considering i used to be abused by my "real mom" i fucking hate it. Its so annoying.
Thank you so much for making this post.
I personally have an abusive mother, but only a few people who have been to my house know about it.
Kids at school talk about hating their parents, and there'd just always that one kid who comments and says "You should love your parents. They brought you into this world."
My response is always
"What if the parents hate the child? What if the parents hurt the child? Should the child still love them just because they brought them into this world? That's like saying you should be friends with bullies, no matter how much they hurt you"
I hate it when kids are too high on their high horse to realize that not everyone's parents can spoil their children, let alone decide to.
Yeah i understand that. I had a toxic friend, and at some point she said a certain thing that my mother tends to say about me to my face and I ended the friendship. I actually have signs of PTSD. Since I have heavy dissociation that messes with my life. I hope things will get better for you at some point.