Pretty un-privilege

I know I am so pretty,

just not as beautiful as to never --

get treated a certain way,

be loved with ion and ired;

their flaws are petite art

but mine never are.

I know I am so pretty,

besides not really enough in his eyes.

the way my face lights up,

at the mere thoughts, but

why would anyone celebrate that?

there's a way you look at people you crave for,

own, touch, feel;

and I'm felt for what I can give.

I am, but a handy thing.

only a spare keychain.

I know I am so pretty,

only sometimes when the mirror isn't betraying;

only when I don't worry about fitting in;

only when I lose myself in pipe dreams;

only when I am able to convince myself

that I am, am I?

you wish the lights don't go out,

but when they do, it's dark.

there's no flame to flicker.

and it remains the same way

for a long, long time.

I know I am so pretty,

maybe because I am strong.

I can stop despising and hurting

and tell myself I accept you, I accept me;

I accept the way it is.

I need to wait for the right time.

or rather, wait until there's some scheme

that helps me get pretty.

I know I am so pretty,

but I fear breaking into smiles,

or taking pictures; thinking

what if I appear less pretty?

it could change their minds when they see me

and mine too along with it.

These flowers, before they bloom

don't have dewdrops

I know I am blooming

uncertain if I can open and spread --

to that degree of graceful and wide.

I know I am so pretty,

unless I am not fooling myself,

hopes are for those

that aren't worthless, it's true.

It's always

-oh I'm sorry you feel that way

and never

-you're too beautiful to feel that way

for

I know I am pretty,

                              just not

       the way

                                       being pretty

                   should be.

Images used aren't mine.