Call and response

I cannot sleep,

Your gesture has left me in a daze,

this is all I have desired,

yet this is not mine for the taking,

Is it?

This is some trap, no?

I’ve played this role of fool before,

I’ve stitched my heart on my sleeve,

Though bleeding it may be.

I can’t sleep,

I turn at the notion that I should burden you,

that you wouldn’t mention it,

that it would eat you alive,

while I remain unaware.

I wish I could sleep,

I would spend millennia,

proving myself worthy to deserve you,

dedicating myself, my being,

yet I cannot shake the feeling,

that you might not do the same.

Am I delusional?

That must be it yes.

Every second I have spent yearning,

every second spent clawing at my chest,

baying like a wounded dog,

I am delusional to have thought it mutual.

Each hour I’ve coordinated my strategy,

each hour searching for your desires,

considering every explicit detail.

I am delusional to think myself worthy.

Again I find myself thinking of you,

again I spend my days noticing where you aren’t,

begging and bargaining my way to you.

I am delusional to imagine you do the same.

You have called,

you have finally called on me.

Suddenly, nature has brightened,

flowers bloom,

rivers ease,

cardinals sing.

I stand, layered in last seasons frost.

I thought I’d be ready by now,

yet I have no response.

Image is not mine~