Tips For Coming Out To A Homophobic Family

Hey everyone!

Since my own coming out went pretty terribly I thought I'd make a post of tips I wish I'd had before coming out. This post is aimed specifically at people who have homophobic families, but it could be applicable to other LGBT people too.

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𝙂𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙚 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙃𝙤𝙢𝙤𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙗𝙞𝙘 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝘼𝙧𝙚

If you're thinking about coming out, it's important to know how homophobic your family is. If you're in danger of being kicked out of the house or physically hurt, I would strongly advise that you don't come out unless you have somewhere safe to go afterwards.

If you're unsure how homophobic your family is, bring up gay rights/same-sex marriage/homosexuality in the Bible, etc. and see how they react.

𝘿𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙒𝙝𝙤

Do you want to come out in public or private? With a trusted friend/family member or alone? Or maybe you want to come out to multiple people at once.

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If you're worried that you'll be yelled at or otherwise verbally berated, coming out in public might be a good idea. Your family member(s) will want to avoid making a scene in public, and therefore will be less likely to go over the top with their anger/disgust.

It also may be helpful to have another family member or friend with you for comfort and . They can help you if you start losing your nerve and shield you from some of your family's anger. Someone you trust can also be there to comfort you if your coming out goes poorly.

Having my sister there with me after I came out to my dad honestly saved my life.

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On the flip side, you may want to come out in private if you think your family will take the news better that way. Some people are better at positively working through their emotions when they're in private.

If your family is more confused by your sexuality than outright hateful, it can be easier to explain it to them one on one.

𝙋𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙂𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙏𝙤 𝙎𝙖𝙮

You don't need to have a whole speech planned out, but knowing how you want to start and lead the conversation is a good idea.

If you think your family will try and argue with you, memorizing rebuttals to their anti-LGBT arguments can also be helpful.

𝘽𝙚 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙏𝙤 𝙏𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙄𝙩 𝘽𝙖𝙙𝙡𝙮

Be ready to get bad reactions. Having your family not accept you is hard enough, but it's even worse when you aren't emotionally prepared for it.

Know that there's the possibility some family will never accept you for who you are. For your own well-being, it may be necessary to cut those people out from your life.

𝙆𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙮 𝙎𝙖𝙮 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝘿𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙈𝙚𝙖𝙣

Coming out to family is often a jarring experience for them. In their initial shock they may say incredibly rude, hurtful things that they don't truly mean and regret later. This doesn't excuse their behavior, but understand that they'll take time to adjust and can become more accepting later on.

𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜

I hope this post is helpful to at least a few people, and good luck to anyone planning to come out!

#featurethis