I lost control

Mood swings left and right

Anger rising through my body.

Teeth clenched and a facial expression nobody could understand.

Is something wrong? they ask

I respond with a smile nope everything is fine.

You can hear the anger in my voice but nobody dares to ask.

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I feel a burning in my chest.

An irritating feeling in my mind.

A voice in my head counting down the seconds.

Tick tock tick tock tick tock

A clock ticking while it continues to count down.

Each vibration my phone makes the angrier I get.

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The faster it counts down the faster the ticks get.

People continue texting me.

I try listening to music to calm I try to do everything.

Nothing stops the anger from rising even more.

I'm surrounded by family I hate.

People keep bothering me and I can feel it.

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I'm down to the last seconds.

My head is pounding. All I can hear are the voices now.

TICK 5 TOCK 5 TICK 4 TOCK 4

All until it reaches 0 and that's when I break.

I run outside to grab rocks to throw I keep my phone on my bed.

I wonder off into the wilderness. All to be alone.

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The anger leaves my body but for how long?

A day 2 days? Then it all comes back.

On the edge of a breakdown. Feeling So angry.

Maybe I just want to destroy myself.

Shut everything out I just feel numb.

So numb and angry I feel I deserve everything.

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Drama rising from everywhere doesn't help.

Anxiety and depression doesn't help.

Insomnia doesn't help.

The fact I haven't slept for days doesn't help.

my head is pounding with all these demons I can't contain.

I tried to tame them but nothing works.

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I thought I was in control. But that's only what they make you think.

I lost control and I'm breaking down.

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