Dangerous Labels - Arbitrary Restrictions

The danger of the focus on labels

Observation & personal Opinions

I've never really seen the reason why people are that driven to have a label. Being involved with my local LGBTQA+ Center I have become even more aware of this issue. I want to share my observations and resulting opinions here in hopes of maybe helping someone escape their self-made prison.

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The cause

Case A - "Born this way"

There are a lot of young people realising they aren't straight cis people. The resulting confusion is often a real problem to them, basically not knowing who they are. As a result they get a feeling of urgency to fill that gap with whatever will fit. So they choose the first more ore less applicable and cling to it as a lifeboat. So far that's all fine and understandable. It however becomes rather unhealthy when they see that lifeboat as their final destination. Believing to have found all there is to find and stopping to question anything. Most people don't know and understand themselves fully, much less kids and teens. So their picked label might have fit the small part of themselves they knew at the age they picked, but will it still fit after years of new experiences to learn more? Since we hear a lot of "I was born gay/trans/whatever" the people with this problem think they are stuck being what lable they first felt drawn to, hurting and restricting themselves in the process.

Case B - "Being Different"

Another less common case I see most with the Asexual and Aromatic spectrum but also with genders. Let's fist talk about the Aro/Ace version: The prominence of Romance and Sex across all media can be overwhelming. It often looks like it's all there is. No wonder so many people think they're supposed to base their life around it no matter what. This can lead to people thinking they are weird for not feeling romantic or sexual attraction sometime. As a result the Aromantic and Asexual label get thrown around a lot and at a moment's notice. Of course there is a spectrum, but not everyone that isn't sexually/romantically attracted 24/7 to anyone among their preferred gender is automatically aro/ace. The other mentioned case is with the gender spectrum. You don't need a special label to wear a dress as a amab person. You also don't need to to be queer to present feminine one day and masculine the next. Labels can be very helpful to communicate but you shouldn't feel like having to justify every feeling with a lab.

The danger

So far I've presented the ways people might end up with a ill-fitting lab. Now why do I care what people label themselves? It's the behaviour a lot of these people show that have issues with. And that's the bending of themselves and the labels to fit together instead of getting rid of the label looking for one that actually fits naturally. This bending hurts themselves as they treat the lable like law and convince themselves they belong. Does this remind you of something? It's just like with queers queers trying convince themselves they're straight/cis. A girl that had a crush on a girl picking up the lab Lesbian and then having another crisis if they find a guy they like. Instead of just going with it leaving the old label in the past like they did with heterosexuality. Just scroll through the latest feed on here. So many people are confused about their labels, when they should feel the need to slap a label on themselves at all. You're not a fictional Character that needs a comprehensive Character sheet. Even less do you need to fit a character sheet someone else wrote to describe a gender/sexuality.

My wish

Most people are nothing like their Kindergarten self when they're 20. So why should they need to have to stick to the same label. We should strife to put less focus on giving everything a neat little box. Seeing labels as a tool to describe something, not as ones exact identity. Allowing people the time to just collect experiences before having to decide on a fitting label for themselves. Questioning things we thought we knew about ourselves and not doing something because "that's what you do".

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I hope this was somewhat understandable. I'm not really much of a writer, but this topic is important to me.

If you agree with me, please lend a helping hand when you see people struggling with this exact issue.

If you disagree feel free to leave your take in the comments. I just ask you to be respectful and let everyone voice their opinions if done nicely.

Thank you for reading

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