Self Awareness || A poem?

Welcome to a strange

little rambling of this

ridiculous kitty..

:feet:     :feet:

I don't know..

Can I trust you?

Probably not.

I guess though, that maybe it’s

actually easier to open up to a

relative stranger.

Someone that I’ll likely never

actually get to meet.

Since, somehow, I’ve had this

fear for as long as I can .

That people don’t like me once

they actually get to know me.

There’s something about me,

once they learn it, they leave.

I don’t know what it is.

Maybe it’s just different for everyone?

Maybe there’s truly something

wrong with me.

It’s happened so many times.

I try so hard.

I get so confused.

Just to be blindsided by complete

dismissal the moment I make a mistake.

Or maybe it grows silently,

and it just feels like that?

I get attached to easily,

I care too much;

I’m much too guarded with

myself at the same time.

I know it’s temporary.

I know they’ll leave.

Someday they’ll just be done with me.

I don’t know how to make this fear known.

When I do, it just expedites

the inevitable that I fear.

It makes others feel guilty,

inadequate; it worries them.

That hurts more than anything,

but it still comes up.

I can’t not hurt people I care about.

No wonder I’m afraid for people

to get to know me.

The one I don’t trust is me.

:feet:     :feet:

~Picture/art credit as always to original owners. Picture taken from Pinterest, cover edit by me.~