Apricity

Inktober Day 18

Prompt- trap

☆.。.:*°☆.。.:*°☆.。.:*°☆.。.:*°☆

☆.。.:*°☆.。.:*°☆.。.:*°☆.。.:*°☆

I lie on the floor, wrapping the cold unwashed bedsheets around myself, the fragrance of your cheap cologne still lingering around me, reading our texts over and over again, till my blurry eyes can't see anymore, words that somehow never stop hurting with time, carving the scars forever into my insides.

Maybe the worst part is realizing that, I deserve it all.

We were the discordant notes of dying symphonies, trying hard to in a harmony that could never be with my rhythym always falling out of place with your melody of life.

I was always too little for you and your skyful of obnoxiousky ignorant shimmering hopes and smiles emanating the warmth of a thousand suns, always more in of my pessimistic words and the gloom I brought with me wherever I went, overshadowing your light, I barely spared a glance at your face as I trashed your dreams, crumpling all your love letters within my fists as too bright and optimistic to a fault.

You were the guileless lone rose trying to exist in my desert of neverending doom, spreading your innocent petals despite my scalding touch incinerating your edges every moment.

I your soft lips pressed against mine, your soothing warmth trying to get through the omnipresent chill in my bones, as you held me close, arms wrapped around me tight, as if hoping to all my broken pieces together by squeezing hard enough.

You did all the little things, from kisses on the forehead to midnight cuddles, I had nothing to complain about, days spent walking the streets aimlessly, getting lost deliberately, holding hands on the crowded bus while your whispers tickled my hair and blissful nights of restless sheets trying to mold our bodies to each other and fuse our hearts as one.

I was a thunderstorm, stealing your summer sky away, when all you did was try to stich together my gaping wounds and embalm my scarred soul with your altruistic love.

You fell into my trap of shattered dreams, fueled by your urge to patch my torn wings, when all I did was be your destruction, a mercenary draining you of your identity with my affection deprived heart always greedily begging for more, never satisfied or content with everything you did.

You always said I was the one for you, but I am sorry that my insecurities never let me believe that and I let you drift away.

I miss you, my heart aches to see your face again, but each time I see all our texts and the pictures of us together, I wish I could say "thank you" to you too, because you made me understand,

"To let anyone love me, I needed to learn to love myself."

☆.。.:*°☆.。.:*°☆.。.:*°☆.。.:*°☆

#inktober