This is my challenge 2 entry.
Mental health disorder: Extreme depression and self harm
Trigger warning: Does contain scene's of self harm and suicide. May upset sensitive readers.
As I prepare my tools, I feel a rush as I'm going to do my self harm thing again. It's a weekly thing I do, as soon as one heals I do it again for a high. My tools consist of a sharp knife and rubbing alcohol. The perfect rush to satisfy my craving. I enjoy the cutting of my flesh and the burning sensation that the alcohol gives me. This is the best feeling in the world.
As I look in the mirror my depression becomes overwhelming. I feel like a failure, I wish that I could be a better person. Somebody that my parents and sister can be proud of. Not who I am now, I have lost everyone in my life as a result of who I am. I wish I could be somebody different, but instead I'm a chronically depressed person who harms herself for a high.
I'm so depressed that I feel like I want to end my life, ending my miseries in life.
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A letter to my mom, dad and sister
Dear mom, dad and my sister:
I'm so sorry for the person that I've become. I'm so sorry for the endless disappointment and misery that I had caused you all over the years that I was growing up. I can't change myself, this is who I am. I'm ashamed of myself and I wish that I could have been a better person and a better daughter and sister to you. I'm doing this because it's something I have to. This is a final goodbye, I hope that you can forgive me for turning out to be a horrible person. I have done the best that I can in this life.
From your daughter Amira.
I drop the letter in the letter box by my parents house on my way to the bridge, where I'm going to end my horrible life.
As I jump off the edge of the bridge, I realize that all my stress, depression and my horrible life is coming to an end as suicide is near.
... And there I'm gone off the horrible place called earth.
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