Valyria Crackpot Tinfoil

Hello, welcome to a new entry for the #StrangerIsComing challenge. Today’s theme is Old Valyria, and I thought that was a perfect subject to make a theory about. And because I didn’t feel like making a serious theory, I decided to make crackpot. So enjoy this crackpot theory about the Doom of Valyria.

Some people say the Valyrians greed caused the Doom. Some say there ambition did it. Some say the Faceless Men were behind it. Even fewer people point to an ancient prophecy about Lannister gold destroying the Valyrians. The first three are wrong and the last one foretold Jaime Lannister killing the last dragon ruler Aerys II, not the Doom of Valyria. No, the real reason for the destruction of Valyria is far more complex, but actually quite simple when you see it. If you swap the letters of Valyria, you can make Aravyil. Not important or anything, just a cool fact. Anyway, some of you might have heard about an ancient society, known as the Immortals. What, you haven’t? Well, let me explain that first.

The Immortals are a group of immortal people that have mingled themselves into humanity and secretly pull the strings. Their sigil as a pyramid inside of a eye. Their include legendary names, such as Hot Pie, Patchface, Mushroom, Doloures Edd, fooking Karl Tanner and many more. Above them all is the leader, the legendary Nimble Dick Crabb (this one is for you Vic). Everything that has happened in history has been this society just toying with some peope. And that brings me to the Doom. That wasn’t their plan. They liked the idea of the Valyrians taking over the entire world. But something happened. Something that upset Nimble Dick Crabb very much.

On the third day of the fifth moon in 126 AC, the Valyrian lord Vaelyrean Paerson killed Drynkyng Baeddy, the drinking buddy of Nimble Dick acting in the guise of Nymble Dyck Craebb. Nimble Dick was so angry, he decided he wanted Valyria gone. Mushroom used a favor he had on Dick to save the Targaryens from this fate, because Mushroom was rooting for the Targaryens in the Immortal’s ‘Which family will be greatest when we decide to end this planet?’ bet. Thus the Targaryens went safely away to Dragonstone and the Immortal’s started plotting. They knew they needed help to come up with the most entertaining (for them) plan to end the Valyrians. The great Hamfast Gamgee, the almighty god of gardeners, came to their rescue.

He gave them a ring that he had found on the ground near the house of his master Frodo Baggins. Poor Frodo had a jacket with a hole and his ring had fallen from his jacket. Hamfast told the group that if they threw the ring into Valyria, their wish would come true. And so they did. In Hamfast’s world, the eye tower man Sauron realised his ring was gone. He looked for it, and found it east from Mordor (so west from Westeros) in those strange lands known as Westeros and Essos. He used his Maiar power to retrieve the ring. But the Immortal’s had enchanted the ring with a sort of fail safe. If Sauron used his powers on it, the ring would destroy itself and everything near to it. And that happened. It’s a simple as that really. That’s how Valyria got destroyed. My proof? On this picture you can see a black spot (circled), that possibly might be the ring:

And that’s why what I just told you if clearly what happened in Valyria. For the rest, I hope you enjoyed this mess I made. Basically all of it was improvised, as that I just wrote what I thought of. I hope y’all like this and until next time.

#Trial2

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