The 10 Worst Smash Ships

uhh thanks for the feature. did not expect that at all lol

#TwilightWings

Ayy.

Sup nerds. It Is I, RJ and ships suck. If you somehow don’t know what ship is even though you’re on the Internet in a community for a Nintendo game, shipping derives from the word relationship, is when a fan of a celebrity or series desires 2 or more real people or fictional characters to be in a relationship. Tons of communities have multiple ships that wouldn’t really make sense or are just fucking weird, and smash is no exeception.

So, I decided to make a top ten list of what I think are the worst smash ships this community has ever thought of. That’s right, I’m getting my Watch Mojo on. Also, this is my opinion, the “worst” in the title is an exaggeration.

If you ship any of these, that’s fine. It’s your opinion, you’re allowed to have it. (Except 1, 2 and 3. if you ship one of those I genuinely hate you.)

But before we get to the actual list, I’m gonna the five honorable mentions that weren’t on the actual list due to the fact they aren’t as bad as any of the ten in the actual list. Also the honorable mentions aren’t ranked in order. It’s just random.

#1. Mario x Luigi

This is only an honorable mention because from what I can tell, this is mostly a meme satirizing other Nintendo ships like this. But there still are some people who unironically ship these two and if they were the majority, this would’ve definitely been on at least four or five on the list. Incest is very much not Wincest.

#2. Fox x Wolf

Fox and Wolf wouldn’t make any sense at all canonically. Wolf and Fox literally hate each other and have tried to kill the other multiple times. But I put this is an honorable mention because a lot of the fan art I’ve seen of them are actually pretty adorable. That’s only most of them tho, some are pretty fucking graphic.

#3. Kirby x Pikachu

I’m pretty sure the only reason why this ship is a thing is because both characters are small and cute. That’s it. Why?

#4. Yoshi x Rosalina

I have no idea why this exists. Which believe me it does. I’m guessing because like Yoshi is supposed to be like the third most important male Mario character and Rosa is the third most important female Mario character? Or maybe since Yoshi took care of Mario and Luigi as children and Rosalina takes care of the Lumas? Either way both reasons are still pretty dumb.

#5 Ryu x Ken

Idek what to start here. This is just stupid.

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Alright now those are honorable mentions, now let’s get to the actual list.

Any humanoid character x any Pokémon

I say “humanoid” instead of human since a lot of smash characters may look human but canonically aren’t like Ike, Bayo or Shulk and the Spacies since they’re basically humans in the StarFox world.

There are 3 types of Pokémon in smash. The “sorta anthro but not really” Pokemon being, Lucario, Incineroar, Mewtwo and Greninja. The “Pokémon that are pretty much just regular animals with superpowers” being the Rodents and PT mons. And lastly, the Pokémon that’s just a sentient fucking balloon. And none of them would be a good couple with any of the humanoid smash characters

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Bayonetta x The Belmont’s

I had to use meme fan art because almost every single fan art of Bayo and any of the Belmont’s were hentai. But anyways, The Belmont’s are supposed to kill monsters like Vampires and Witches. And Bayo is an umbra Witch.

So if Bayo and one of the Belmont’s ever came past each other, They’d probably kill each other.

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DK x Diddy

This is similar to Mario x Luigi since it’s mostly a meme but damn, this is just gross. Especially since a lot of the fan art I’ve seen have a lot to do with either DK’s feet or bananas. That wasn’t an innuendo or anything. actual bananas. Y’all are nasty.

Honestly if this wasn’t mostly a meme it would probably be number 2. Not 1 because this is nowhere near worst than that.

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Little Mac x Wii Fit Trainer

i don’t really know what to say here. this is just dumb

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Ken x Zelda

From what I can tell, this is only a thing because of a scene in Ken’s reveal and that’s kinda dumb.

Why would you ship 2 characters that have only been seen together in a 2 second scene in a trailer?

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Little Mac x Samus

Just like the last ship, I’m pretty sure this all started with Mac’s reveal. And at least with the Ken and Zelda scene it showed Ken using his down taunt as if he was spitting game at her.

Where as in Mac’s reveal, Samus makes fun of Mac’s height and then he KO punches her. How the fuck does that translate to a good ship?

oh yeah also samus is canonically 32 yrs old and mac is 17

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Ness x Lucas

This is here solely for the fact this would make literally no sense whatsoever in the Earthbound or Mother 3 lore.

Porky is the main Villain in Mother 3 (I think) and he’s supposed to be around 1,000 years old during the game. And while it’s never been said how old Porky was in Earthbound, he should be around Ness’ age.

So Ness would be fucking dead before Lucas’ Grandparents were even conceived.

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Ganondorf x Young Link

Now originally I was gonna put botw link x Ganon on the list but when I was looking for fan art to add, I found this shit. what the fuck. I’m so confused on why someone would even draw this that I’m not even gonna say anything about it. Just what the fuck.

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Chrom/Marth x Lucina

This is a 2 way tie between Chrom x Lucina and Marth x Lucina because I couldn’t choose one.

Chrom is Lucina’s Father and Marth is Lucina’s great-great-great grandfather. These are pretty well known facts that are stated multiple times in the FE and smash games so why the fuck are these so goddamn popular? Incest is still very much not wincest.

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Ridley x Samus

Why the fuck does this ship exist? Incase you didn’t notice despite this is probably the most well known fact in all of Metroid besides Samus is a girl,

Ridley killed Samus’ parents. No, he didn’t just “kill” her parents, he ate her parents alive while Samus watched. And after all that, This bullshit still exists?

Bro imagine shipping Batman and the guy that killed his parents. This is a dumb ship, just like how this is a dumb blog.

Alright now again, if you ship any of these on the list or in the honorable mentions, I don’t care. It’s your opinion, this is just mine (unless you ship 1, 2 and 3 otherwise then I really don’t like you).

idk what else to say so uh here’s a funny meme

ships are stupid ok bye