On nights, when 3 am gets further and further away, my mind begins to wander, wondering if my soul is in my heart or in my mind. What if I am too much for me, so much that I would need to be replaced before I lead myself to disappear while chasing the last star in space.
Would I need a heart transplant, cause my arteries are clogged with all of the things I want to forget and all the sins clotting in my blood make me wonder if I'm actually more evil than the devil that flows in my veins.
Or would it be my brain; with my head in the clouds through most of my twenties as I tried to die every night hoping my baggage was lighter than the migraines that ruled the realms of my unintelligibly intellectual sense of reasoning which for the very rare moments eclipsed with the abstract ambiguity of my gut's intuitions.
Or maybe it's my soul, that when it is actually the time to leave, it will yearn to stay back in this filthy world's fragility, in the emptiness of being the only one like a billion only-ones searching for contentment in leaving instead of reasons to be living in the hollowness of humanity.
If for that matter I were to replace my ragged heart, would all the burden of my existence cease to exist? I used to wonder if somehow I were to lose all of my blood or just about four pints and a night spent crying for all the hope that I spilled in my wake would be enough to validate me to achieve my dreams.
And somehow transfusing four pints from different parts of humanity was not enough to revive the death of my self despite loosing five pints of all that I was born with in an attempt to save the purpose of my existence.
And it's all in my head, the thunderstorms and the earthquakes, the tsunamis and the hurricanes, all the wreckage that my drifting soul leaves behind each time my future haunts it within the nightmare it is bound to live as disappointing everything and everyone it loved.
![i want blueberries in my ice cream cake-[C]](https://image.staticox.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fpm1.aminoapps.vertvonline.info%2F9296%2F34264a004b73aecd1cf608d97144f29e7fa3f177r1-682-682v2_hq.jpg)
excuse this but it took me 3 years to feel like I wrote something real.
images don't belong to me
Comments (4)
THIS. EVERYTHING THIS. I am still in awe of your poetry every time. It's like reading your favourite book like it's the first time. I will never get over how much of an amazing poet you are poetically and as a person. :sparkling_heart:
Ahhhh thank you and yeah I too can never get over how you create magic with your poetry and your beautiful existence :purple_heart: :purple_heart: :purple_heart: :purple_heart: :purple_heart: :purple_heart: :purple_heart:
But duddde I was going through my previous screenshots and among those there were your masterpieces and your very sweet kindness in them and your heartwarming comments. And honestly one of them made me finally scratch my head a bit and write what had been settled way too deep in my mind. So yeah lately I'm always inspired by you or your masterpieces XD 🤗 :purple_heart:
Reply to: ⱽ ⁱ ᵒ ˡ ᵉ ᵗ ᵗ ᵉ
Broo don't make me cry :sob: :sob: :sob: :sob: :sparkling_heart: :sparkling_heart: :sparkling_heart: :sparkling_heart: :sparkling_heart: I was just a fan and now you are elevating my status too high :sob: :sob: :sob: :sob: :sparkling_heart: :sparkling_heart: :sparkling_heart: You always inspire me as a poet and as a person too :sparkling_heart: :sparkling_heart: :sparkling_heart: :sparkling_heart: :sparkling_heart:
Reply to: DASH
Nah I ain't elevating you... Just reminding you where you exist XD 🤗 :purple_heart: :purple_heart: :purple_heart: :purple_heart: :purple_heart: :purple_heart: :purple_heart:
I mean fans stay on the ceiling :joy: :see_no_evil: :purple_heart: