for my

dear you, who i imagine my pillow to be,

i hope you don’t mind me writing a list

of things that i miss about having you here

with me; it’s all i can do not to cry

/ one. i miss your hair, and how it falls

in waves past your forehead; how you let me

play with it, and make piggy tails from the way

that you smile/ two. i miss your warmth. and how

the wrinkles around your eyes betray how much

you smile. i miss having you be my heater, and

having your arms to hold me when the world gets

slightly bleaker than we painted it to be/ three. i

miss how you wrap time around your finger- making

an hour seem like 20 seconds, making three hours

seem like even less. i miss how you walk me through

the hourglass, and let me touch your hand to catch

bits and pieces of the sand/ four. i miss being able

to just hold you like the world wasn’t ending, and

even if it was i would risk it all to just to be able to

tell you all the reasons you need to stay with me/

five. i miss just hearing your voice. is that weird?

like, i just miss hearing you say my name. no, not

even my name, just words that you form in your

mouth like chewing gum, precious precious words

that i can’t hear again for awhile

/ six. quarantine sucks

and now it’s so painfully obvious how much i miss

you. why is luck so cruel that i met you ever so little

ago, enough to long for you and miss you

every second? i just want to be able to tell you things

about my day, like a normal couple would. make jokes

about the world and hear you laugh at them. is it so

hard to stop dreaming and make love a reality that

we can touch and choose to hold together? please

don’t always leave the phone too soon. i want to at

least see your words on a screen. for now, i have the

hope that the clouds will clear, like they always do for

us. / seven. blue is your favorite color. i want to staple

it to my heart and name it promise. i promise to

always miss you when we’re apart. i promise to always

touch you when we’re not. i promise that now that

i have someone else’s heart to hold, i won’t ever drop it.

promise me that you will love me too.

images used are not my intellectual property.