W h a t

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE FEATURE! :D

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Hey there! Welcome to a post by "𝚁𝙾𝙲𝙺/𝙶𝚁𝙴𝙼𝙻𝙸𝙽"! Be sure to read the whole thing, if you got some spare time, rainbow weirdos!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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┊         ┊       ┊   ┊   ˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩ ➳

┊         ┊       ┊   ✫ ➳

┊         ┊       ☪⋆   𖥸

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𝓣𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓼:

>•Link to the previous post, and the question of "what the hell am I" again

>•Artwork & proof that it's mine

>•A Poem explaining how I feel

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TW:

>•Gender dysphoria

>•Mentions of; sexual, mental, and physical abuse/trauma

>•Mentions of sexual things

>•Mentions of b0dy being sexualized

>•Overall confusion

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✩.･*:｡≻───── ⋆♡⋆ ─────.•*:｡✩

Rock/Gremlin post number:

2

(this is counting legitimate posts, basically not shit posts or anything I did back then other than the trauma post because they don't really relate that much to me anymore)

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┊┊┊✧ ⁺               •

┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪⸙ ͎.

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┊ ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

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♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

▀▄▄ησω ρℓαуιηg:▄▄▀

▀.•♬•αямѕ тσηιтє ву мσтнєя мσтнєя•♫•.▀

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸

(눈‸눈)What is my identity? Σ(ﾟДﾟ；)

Link to my previous post to learn more about the situation if you'd like to answer my question :p

I still don't have a damn clue what my identity is. All I am sure for now is that I don't like being called a girl and that I love my boyfriend/partner who's a demiboy. I go into more detail in my previous post, but yeah. I still wanna know what labels fit me best so I can finally be at peace with my identity. I'd love it if someone could answer this question I have.

*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.°

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:cloud:

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┊☆

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:cloud:

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:cloud:

Artwork

I had done this artwork for no reason other than to draw myself in a way that I felt comfortable with, which was drawing me wearing a binder, the type of makeup I like wearing, and one of my hats, and also as a non-human. I didn't really spend that much time on this, which is why it isn't one of my highest quality of works. But I still like it, it was somewhat of a vent because I was feeling invalidated because I couldn't draw the way my hair is now and that my how my hair is now isn't really what I wanted to have.

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☆..╱.╱.

.╱..☆

.╱.

☆.

Poem

(It doesn't really have a rhyme scheme so-)

A video game,

A video game.

Normally a fantasy world meant to keep you sane.

I made my head to be that way.

I made my head a safe place to keep me sane.

But that still doesn't change

A goddamn thing.

I'm on a tire swing,

It's my past and all of it's horrible mistreatment of me- it's everything.

I don't know who I am because of how it's torn,

And because of that swing,

I feel disgusting.

I feel like I've done something wrong.

It's always something that has gone wrong.

"I want this, I like that"

To you I was a loyal dog, now I'm a cat.

I don't want to fight back.

That's not what I was made to do.

I just got told that my identity was influenced by others

And that I haven't experienced the worst

I'm sorry that I'm still legally a minor

And the past hurts.

So much that sometimes I don't know who's in the mirror.

Everytime I try to see who I am,

My vision is never clearer.

I don't like what she said to me.

She told me

Who I was to be

A sexy,

Lust filled monster.

And she twisted the story.

And I feel like the villian of your video game.

Although I created the characters that everyone likes, that everyone plays.

Although I created the story, and my name

Is on the "who it's by" Part of the game.

Sometimes it makes me angry, but angry hasn't helped me keep myself from going insane.

In this video game,

Actions cause consequences

And if I trust someone again,

It'll be like reloading the last save.

So much trauma, so many days.

But after all of that I have decided that I'm still the blame.

I barely recognize myself,

In my head are a whirl of many people

Trapped in a living hell.

I confuse them for myself,

And make my living hell

Worse, so much worse.

So much that it hurts.

I'm on my last life in my video game.

Gotta pay another quarter to keep me from going insane.

Can't loose that life on my video game.

It was never how it was before, anxious and depressed are my middle names.

I'm the protagonist but I feel like I'm on the side, I'm too boring, I'm pretty lame.

I probably will never be the same.