To the People Who Tell Me I'm Not Bi

A person when they find out I'm bisexual - "Have you ever kissed a girl?"

Me - "Well no I - "

Person interrupts - "Then you're not bi!"

Just because I haven't done something, like kiss or date a girl, doesn't mean that I don't want to or that it nullifies my bisexuality in any way.

Growing up I had crushes on both boys and girls. I didn't think there was a difference or that it mattered, but it mattered to the adults around me. They were okay with me liking boys but liking girls was not acceptable. I don't really recall them saying it was gross or wrong, just that it wasn't normal. My brothers liked girls, I was supposed to like boys. That was pretty much the extent of it. But it stuck with me as I grew older. I still had crushes, I just didn't do anything about them.

It wasn't until I was a preteen that I even heard about gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. At the time I was living with my dad in the suburbs. I had my own circle of friends, which was awesome because prior to that I didn't have a lot of friends and was bullied constantly, and they were the ones who introduced me to the concept of LGBT. I'm sure that if I had been able to stay there (I had to move away) I actually would have gotten a girlfriend. Alas it wasn't meant to be, I ended up moving to a small town where LGBT acceptance hadn't reached yet. It didn't help that I was constantly teased and bullied, I was already considered an outsider among my classmates, and I didn't want to give the kids more ammo against me.

Inspired by the increasingly vocal LGBT community I too spoke up about my bisexuality to my aunt and uncle (whom I was living with at the time) when I was 16. Unfortunately they weren't kind. They told me that I wasn't and that I was only saying that because it's "popular" or "cool" and some other nonsense. They were very emotionally abusive and soon I became depressed and withdrew. Of course they didn't believe I was depressed, I was just "lazy and ungrateful" in their eyes.

With every attempt at opening up being horribly shot down, I gave up. At that point I wasn't even interested in boys. I stayed that way for 3 years until I met my (now ex) boyfriend when I was 19. At 20 I had reached the point in my life where I stopped caring what other people thought of me. I told my then boyfriend that I was bisexual, because honesty is important in relationships, and he was ive even though he didn't one hundred percent believe me. I just accepted it and would casually bring it up with people that I trusted, all of whom were ive. I don't know how to explain it, it was like an epiphany moment, I just became so comfortable with myself.

To those who are questioning themselves right now, it's okay. You'll have your epiphany moment when the time is right. But don't be afraid to explore your feelings and experiment until then. If nothing else you will be able to learn more about yourself.

Be strong!