sharp objects | vent/poem

✞ TW: Self Harm ✞

guess who just relapsed again lmao

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i just need to ride the wave

or so i've been told

but the urge is like a tsunami

overwhelming and inescapable.

it consumes me whole

and spits me out half dead

a raw throat,

bloody thighs,

sliced hips,

a chest full of shame.

i can never truly wash the blood away;

it sticks to my clothes,

stays under my nails,

fills my room with the sickly stench of copper.

i try distraction after distraction,

but they never fucking work

so i drown myself in cheap beer and gin

and let the alcohol ease my pain

it's fine,

i'll be okay;

if i repeat a lie enough times

maybe it'll come true.

i swear that each time is the last

over and over and over again

but it's a lie, always a lie;

just one relapse after another.

but is it really a relapse if i never planned on stopping?

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#curatorreview