Hello! So recently I’ve come to with the fact I am asexual! And I think I may be aro as well.
I experience no romantic attraction to anyone: the concept of crushes/the way allos describe their attraction is super weird to me. I’ve never experienced anything like that!
I started dating at 16; and the way I looked at it was “this is a friend, but now I hold their hand and share more stuff than other friends”? Or “if there was a zombie apocalypse I’d be ok being partners with you compared to others.”
…but I’ve also had a boyfriend for a year now. When we started dating I told him I was questioning if I was aro, he didn’t mind. He still doesn’t.
But if I don’t mind using the typical Romantic labels for our relationship: am I aro? He calls me his boyfriend and I call him mine. I don’t really mind it. We’re dating in the allo sense? I think? He says he also doesn’t really understand romance /stuff associated with it.
Like he doesn’t identify as aro or anything either. But.
Idk I’d just like input lol
Comments (8)
I'm aromantic, and I can't tell you what it's like. I dunno what romantic attraction is like or what lacking it is like. I just know I can categorize all my attractions in 'this is sexual, this is queerplatonic', but there's nothing to put in the romantic box.
So I'll just describe how I view relationships.
I don't want to get married, and I don't like romantic gestures. I hate PDA, even if it's other people. Anything besides holding hands and a quick hug in public makes me uncomfortable. Despite that, I'm fine with taking people on dates, even the stereotypical candlelit romantic dinner if that's what they want. But only because I want to spend time with the person and do things we'd enjoy, regardless of romantic coding. I'd do it with my boyfriend or with a friend. I view it as the person I love and care about and want to spend time with. The whole 'life partner' thing. We're definitely closer than friends, and our relationship probably looks romantic from the outside. But it's like having a live-in best friend, someone I can do stupid stuff with and just enjoy life with and be there for each other.
My boyfriend is alloromantic, and even a hopeless romantic type. It's definitely a weird combo, but it works out pretty well.
Reply to: Habit/jeff
Yeah, I'm definitely a romance indifferent/averse aro.
No outside force can really 'diagnose' you as aromantic but if you relate to the Aro Exprience :tm: you probably are.
You might wanna look into different types of attraction and see if you can separate out your feelings, that might help.
Reply to: Ghost
All I know is “not romantic.”
Reply to: Habit/jeff
Maybe look into queerplatonic and alterous attractions? Qplatonic relationships are common among aro and ace people.
Aromantic here! Based off of what you’ve explained, it seems like you are aromantic, but you like to be involved in relationships that seem romantic but but also similar to friendship but a bit more. This is known as a queerplatonic relationship.
Queerplatonic relationships (or QPR’s) are relationships typically common with aromantics that are more than “friendship” but aren’t as involved as romantic relationships.
I’m aromantic myself, and I personally prefer QPR’s. It’s very valid, so don’t ever let people tell you you’re not aro enough, because you definitely are my friend.
Thank you so so so much!
Reply to: Habit/jeff
You’re so welcome!