Please tell me I'm not the only one

Ok so I have made posts in the past about my gender as my fallowing knows. Recently I have found a name I like and I have started to go by it in my friend group. Also am I the only one that gets a tight feeling in their chest every time they hear their preferred name but they can't tell if it's a good feeling or a bad feeling? Yesterday my mom asked if I was still *her dead name*. I didn't know how to respond.I'm not out to my family about my gender. It's not that I'm scared they won't except me, I just don't know my self. They already struggle with my friends preferred name and pronouns as is. I don't even know what I am and I don't want to put that on them if I don't know. Then she asked me if I'm still a girl and my response was I really don't know, I'm just going with the flow. I just want to know that I'm not the only person going through this or has gone through this.