it sucks being poor

I use the word “poor” in of “low income”

It sucks being poor

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It starts when you’re little and your mom takes you to the store

You want to get

Everything

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She asks you to pick between two toys

You act like you can’t just so that she’ll buy you both

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When she asks you for a birthday or Christmas list

You write down everything you could

Ever

Want

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But then you get older

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And you learn a lot

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You learn that you have a single parent

Which means half the money

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You learn that your mom can’t get a job because she’s sick

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You sit in class in your nice clothes

With the thought in the back of your head

That you’re living off food stamps

And your mom will always be in debt

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But she made it so that no one had to know

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She never bought food for herself

She wore the same clothes she had from before you were born

The ones with holes and paint stains

Pant legs that were covered in dirt at the bottom

And bands that didn’t tie

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She has makeup from when she was a teenager

Just so that you could have all the makeup you wanted

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It got to the point that if you wanted to ask for something

You went through every single website just to find the cheapest one

So that you could help her out

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When she would ask if you wanted something

And you saw the price tag

You said no, even if you did want it

Because you knew it was penalize her

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She would put herself in debt more and more

Just so that you had a new set of clothes for the school year

And all the coolest binders and folders

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When she wasn’t home

You would sneak over and read her mail

What you found was that she got denied disability

Again

For the 3rd time

Even though she is chronically ill and would never recover

Eventually she got disability which means more money than unemployment

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You got phone calls saying your health insurance was being taken away because of it

No doctors, medicine, or procedures

All of it would cost way more than disability could ever give you

She started going through the calendar

And crossing off her several procedures planned for the year

And all her doctors appointments

Apparently you were lied to

You still have health insurance

Luckily

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Then she had to get a phone call to make she still got food stamps

Luckily she still does

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~When you’re young and oblivious

You only care about you

And want everything you want

And if you don’t get it

You throw a tantrum~

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You go online and hunt for jobs to yourself

But if you work

Your mom loses money

She gets money until you’re done school

So then you’re stuck wondering 3 years into the future what you’re going to do

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She asks if you want to go shopping

You say no

You make up the excuse that your sick

Because you know your mom can’t afford the trip

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You plan ahead and wonder where the needed money is going to come from

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Growing up sucks

Because you’re stuck wondering how you’re going to survive

When there’s absolutely nothing you can do

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You’re not at the point where you’re going to lose your house

Because in reality your grandma is paying for it

Your Aunt, Uncle, and Sister are also ing you through life

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You not so poor so that you can’t get your hair dyed, get A LOT of food every month, and go out every so often

You can still be a completely normal teenager in almost every way

You have a expensive computer in your room and a huge fish tank beside it.

If someone walked in they would think you’re made of money

What they don’t know is that your mom lives in the basement and doesn’t even have a door to her “bedroom” where one of the walls is made of curtain

She has to walk a flight of stairs to use the bathroom and two to take a shower

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You feel guilty

Even though you’re embarrassed that you get your tests waived and free lunches because you’re “poor” and that you have an *old* phone and people make fun of you for it...

You feel guilty when it comes time for college classes and you need a textbook

You feel guilty when she just bought you something but now there’s something urgent that has to be paid for

You feel guilty that’s things in life costs money Cause you get spoiled like a rich kid but it’s at the cost of everything your mother has

It sucks being poor, because while you don’t look or act it, you feel it when the bill comes in

No one knows, but no one needs to

Its hard enough by itself and it’s embarrassing even if you’re the only one that knows

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But she raised you to look like you had everything

When in reality you had close to nothing

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She taught you to act rich

Not like the possessions you didn’t have

But like her heart that was full of gold

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No matter how many times you fight with your mom and want to leave

At the end of the day... or maybe the week

She gave you everything she had

Even if it wasn’t a lot

Because she didn’t want your future to end up like hers

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