I bite my tongue

I've been ignored my whole life.

Things that matter most to me get taken away.

When I talk I'm ignored.

When I'm down nobody cares.

You said you were here for me.

Yet You're nowhere to be seen.

You ask how I am. I say I'm fine.

I feel as if It doesn't matter.

My opinion is irrelevant.

You don't see me for who I am.

You see me for my mistakes.

I bite my tongue because

you don't wanna know what I have to say.

nobody ever does. I have so much to say

But nobody will listen.

I've been screaming for someone to care.

Nobody turns up. Nobody comes to me.

I beg for help. But nobody will help.

That's why I bite my tongue.

After trying to get someone to listen.

Nobody will. I'm interrupted.

I say I want to die.

You say "i love food. "

I say I have no will to live.

You laugh.

You think I'm doing well.

You think I'm better.

I want to say everything that's on my mind.

But my mind won't let me spill.

I ask to talk.

You say "I'm busy"

I say okay. I act like it doesn't matter.

The truth behind it is. I get anxiety and overthink.

When you don't reply for days I think I've lost you.

I vent and I fear you'll leave because my problems aren't valid.

I send a voice note I fear you'll be annoyed by my voice.

When I talk to you for hours I fear I talked to much.

I over analyze every word every breath every period.

Did I send too many? Did I breathe too much? Did I say too much?

I re-read every text for hours trying to see if I said something wrong.

You don't respond for days and I see you online.

I think you hate me. You always say you don't.

But I break down thinking I lost one of the closest people.

I bite my tongue because I could destroy you with my words.

I hold in everything and I just might explode with anger.

People say it's bad for me.

I can't let it out. I know you want to hear what I have to say.

But you aren't ready to hear.

What I have to say could hurt so many people.

If I let it out people may leave.

I want to let it out.

But I can't because I need to keep it in.

The anger will build up and I may use it to my advantage one day.

For now I bite my tongue because nobody notices me.

As usual. My opinion is irrelevant.

It's not like you'd care anyways.