Taxidermy Deer

I've been hiding tears in my sleeves,

letting them cling to my skin;

feelings are so embarrassing,

they're the youngest daughter,

neglected and forgotten.

I've been eating only breakfast and dinner,

hoping hunger would be freeing,

months have ed, I'm not thinner,

food feels forbidden and bitter.

My body grew tired

of my own body weight,

and I saw myself floating

farther away.

I wish I were a stuffed owl,

I wish I were a taxidermy deer,

I wish I were somebody dying,

I wish I were a corpse somewhere.

I don't like my friends,

they're convenient happiness;

we speak cardboard and peace

and stand by each other's shoulder

so no one seems lonely.

Often I've been thinking

if your sadness is mine,

if, from whenever you share it,

it lingers in my mind.

Well, I tried being selfish,

evading the bleak in your eyes.

I failed miserably

for honestly

I couldn't care more if I tried.

I'm my own best friend,

And I love the flower trees;

I'm my own best friend,

As the night sky sees;

I'm my own best friend,

And I hate everything.

I'm a fucking drama queen,

I'm a taxidermy deer.