Chimeran love

Inktober Day 20

Prompt- Coral

You say you want me,

Look deep into my desperately love lorn eyes, glazed over with the euphoria of the heady fragrance of your cologne,

Press your toxic lips against my eager ones,

filling my mouth with the taste of regret,

readily overwhelmed by the honeyed syrupy sweet of contented bliss, coating my tongue with your intoxicating lies.

You whisper against my ears,

sylabbles that rekindle the pernicious flame of nascent hope inside my hollow heart again,

as I let myself be painted in your mocking hues of ignorant affection,

my skin a patchwork of psychedelic tinctures of addictive disdain,

a new shade of blacks and blues and sinful reds for every time you leave,

Only to come back,

with fistfuls of dazzling yellows and buoyant pinks

of fleeting moments of needing your discarded blanket of dying stars

when your heavenly hell freezes over with your countless innocent inquities.

Her coral eyes plead me to be valiant for once,

her soothing smiles urging me on,

to find my own identity,

within the rubble of ashes,

of the pathetic discarded remains of my life,

never good enough for you.

She feels like home,

the calm to the blinding storm you leave me stranded in,

as she sets a thousand butterflies free inside my heart,

she says she wants me,

giving rise to a riot of emotions heaving in my trembling chest,

I want to believe the sincere sliver of the glimmering promise that leaves her tender lips,

and surrender myself to her soft embrace,

that assures me of treacherous peace,

even as I watch the hurt glimmer in the stars of her eyes,

everytime I guilt myself into saying we are "just friends".

I want to let myself morph into the butterfly she sees me as,

but how do I ignore the scars still bleeding inside from your razor sharp gashes of crudely disguised disgust,

as you crush me under your feet like the impudent gnat I am.

Maybe this time when I lay in your arms,

as your ravenous fingers conquer every inch of my body and choking my soul,

like they were creations for you to play with,

carefully putting back the shattered pieces only to break them again at will,

I'll hope in that tiny overlooked corner of my heart,

that this time,

you don't stay.

I'll let you kiss my tear stained lips,

one last time as you leave,

this time I won't be there as your sloppy second,

so I'll hope you never come back.

And maybe I will let myself be loved finally.

#inktober