an open letter to my dysphoria

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Dear Dysphoria,

I know we don’t get along most days... In fact, some days I’m not even sure if I truly know who or what you are. My parents say I’m crazy — sometimes I think I am too.

But, you give me this incredibly uneasy feeling. I feel like I was born in the wrong body — like this chest doesn’t belong to me.

Because, while I like my voice and hips and thighs, my chest doesn’t feel quite right. It’s like God decided to make my body female, but my brain isn’t 100% on the female side.

And then, of course, you came along around the age of 10. You encouraged me to slouch and wear baggy shirts all the time... I tried to ignore you, but you’ve become more vocal as time goes by.

And, let’s not forget how my parents feel about you... they insist my chest is beautiful, and that I don’t need to change. I wish you felt the same way.

I still don’t quite understand you... I try and accept you, but you keep reminding me every day of my body. How discontent you feel with the body we reside in...if only that one small detail was changed, everything would be perfect.

It’s like one minute you’re content and the next you’re begging me to get top surgery right away. Back and forth like a pendulum...

I know you’re always going to be there, nagging at the back of my mind. But, I hope one day I’ll regain control of my thoughts. Someday, you’ll be kicked out — and everything will be at peace.

Until then, let’s try and be civil at least. I know it’s hard...but, for my peace of mind, please? Please try and hold on...it won’t be long before my body will be fine in both of our eyes.

Sincerely,

Cidney

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edit: Thank you all so much for all of the love and ! :two_hearts: It means a lot to me! Way more than words can express. I hope that this letter about my experiences and feelings about dysphoria helps! If you need anything at all, my dms are always open.

Stay safe, loves! :relaxed: