Blue

i have this nervous habit of tapping my collarbone with my index and middle finger, the rhythmic thumping, like a monotone heartbeat reverberating through my hollow chest. i find myself doing it in hospital waiting rooms, in fluorescent supermarket aisles, in the space between “now and “never again”...

TW: (little dark at the end) I am empty like an old house, Haunted and lonely, Floating through the meandering hallways of my mind, At the weepiest hours of the night. I am a ghost in my own body, Languid and longing for Something to change That never will. This house is laced with cobwe...

I know I was some dangerous, Colliding force for you, Couldn’t handle my nervous temper, You were the beach and I was A hurricane offshore. And if you stayed maybe You could’ve lived quietly In the eye of my storm And I would’ve let you be safe there, While I destroyed everything else aro...

I am not a comfortable person I am volatile and nervous, All shaking hands and bloody knees, I don’t know what it’s like To be at rest. But with you I think I could learn. Maybe, just Maybe You and your soft words have unwound me. Because God, I feel what I think  is the closest to peace...

My anger undermines my femininity Because society has deemed Anger to belong to men So if I am mad It is not powerful, It is laughable, An irritation. So it is the fate of me, And every woman I have ever known To bury our rage until It becomes biblical and bruising. It is all consuming a...

TW: mention of alcohol It is exactly 2:43am I've been watching the hour hand Do cart wheels in its glass cage. I’m tired and barely sober, Staring at the empty glass and Trying not to hit myself, Trying even harder not to call you Cuz I know you’re with her and I’m the last one on your min...

Trigger: just kinda dark and all over the place? My world has collapsed so many times already (I know it will begin again) Take a sledgehammer to my cerebrum, watch how poppies explode out from the cracks in my skull, Bright red and violent. I’m hungry for devastation Starvin’ for some k...

Trigger warning: mention of drugs and cursing I haven’t felt like me since 14. God, wish she could see me now. there’s a boy sleepin’ in my bed, to-do list reads: “text dealer” right below “buy oranges” And if you asked I’d swear I really don’t care if nobody loves me. I really don’t. (ple...

:star: :star: :star: I am to you As the ocean is to the shore Pulling away only to inevitably fall back Forever in love with the push and pull Every interaction leaves me searching Falling back to you However fleeting and Still I am pulled back It is low tide In the sense that You are so infin...

I forgot how to breathe six years ago Which is to say I don’t know how to exist anymore; Which also implies I once did. Sometimes if I lie down And stare at the ceiling long enough It starts to breathe and pulse I imagine it might just swallow me whole. I like smoking for the sake of ha...

1. i once dreamt of an orange tree, its branches bore so many fruits the weight pulled the branches towards the earth (it cried and begged to put the weight down) I reached and plucked one from a branch, Grasped it and in my hand It split and turned itself inside out Like an abdomen unde...

1. Between our lips right before you kissed me It was June and summer was just starting to devour us But we were too busy to notice- The nebula between us was too bright. 2. Your eyes when you’re staring at me across the room. The center of the Milky Way is there- I can feel your gravit...