Jewel

Twenty two the reassurance that everything will be okay, that’s the number twos promise to you. What would the world be without you, and your soft smiles that reassure the darkest storms that it’s okay to stop rumbling. The world would not be as bearable, or quite as inhabitable. When ...

Dark brown whenever I looked at myself in the mirror, and I when my eyes held deserts so devoid of any emotion. When nothing made sense, except the rage I held in the back of my pocket, in my furrowed brows, and the way my fists were always curled. It’s true I was always mad a...

Where do I end and you begin I wonder, and then when we turn to look at each other I believe you were a part of my past once. I was a star struck teenager, and in that brief ing that was our meeting that was our beginning. Young enough to know everything because what were we if not...

Confidently hatred has always been a part of me an ever present companion so truthful so ever present I forgot what I could be without it. Self loathing as boundless as the seven seas of our wandering world because individuality consists of being your own worst critique. Where do you go ...

I hate you I mean maybe I do, because what else is left inside you but the ugliness of your own self loathing. That self loathing that coated my hands too when I wiped your brow and you laid your head against my chest. The only time you weren’t on guard were those moments at night in...

“Why do you think it happened?” You could ask why does anything bad happen to anyone at all? There are many times I wondered why, and I delved into the wiring within my brain to see where I went wrong in it all. Perhaps in every instance I took the wrong step, but sometimes it’s...

I’ve lost a lot of people, and I’ll do it again many times in this lifetime but I didn’t want it to be you. If I could pick and choose who had to come and go it wouldn’t have been you, and everyday I wish you knew how much I wanted to go home. I want to go to the home that you became for m...

Ghosts have a tendency to linger along the edges of my fingertips in the way I your skin, and the way if I wake up sometimes I swear you’re next to me still. I know you probably sleep peacefully alongside the body of your apathy, but I suppose your apathy temporarily left when I w...

If someone asked me if I would forgive you I would say yes, and many would question my choice but it would be because of how it’s all gone. I met you wide eyed and timid of how you towered over me, but you always worried about my comfort over your own. I trusted you quicker than most,...

How could you? But really the question was directed at myself because how could I really be so hopeful that we liked when we didn’t? Or rather when you stopped liking me, or when everything made like so impossible so we stopped talking for a few days because maybe that would change ...

TW: Mentions of suicide When I was little nobody told me how you had to learn how to expect, but not to because you should be ready to be disappointed that disappointment is just a reality of expecting something. People can’t do everything right but you can’t expect them to do anyt...

Not many people could understand me, and it wasn’t because I couldn’t explain or even because it was all that complicated but it was because I never could talk at least not without moving five steps to the side, and then make a joke then move on from what was truly bothering me. I kn...