heartache

➸purple for shitty feels and a lot of stress

→♡←

there’s a weight in my chest.

in lingers incessantly.

i hate it.

i want to tear my heart out and throw it away.

get these feelings out; i don’t want them anymore.

i want to be numb.

the slightest mention of you crushes me instantly.

i took the polaroids we took together down.

it doesn’t feel good to not be wanted anymore.

you can’t say i didn’t try.

i played nice when you cut into me, tried to hold on when you threw me away.

feelings suck

and you can’t even grace me with an explanation.

i never hurt you like this. i didn’t leave you in the dust.

i didn’t antagonize you like this.

you brought up old wounds of stupid things a kid said to you. that kid isn’t the same person, yet i still took the fault.

you decided i wasn’t worth it anymore.

even though i was the one bending over backwards for you. i dropped everything to run to your aid.

sorry you’re butthurt over something so stupid as an ignorant comment i made at 10 years old.

at least i didn’t tear into your personality like it was something you could cut and paste and make it your own.

it’s been three months or so now...

and i still see you in my day to day life.

thanks for nothing, i guess. it was fun while it lasted.

i wish i could let go.

i wish you knew i never lied to you.

you don’t even care anymore, do you.

and yet i’m so torn up inside.

fuck you.