◦ signatures

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signatures

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𝘁𝗮𝗴𝘀: #curatorreview

#TourOfMyBrain

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 1,229

🅦🅐🅡🅝🅘🅝🅖

I’m just putting it here because at some point it gets a bit crazy and angsty. So just in case someone is really sensitive, you’ve been warned.

I woke up to blinding light of the sun. Opening my eyes slowly, letting my orbs adapt to such brightness, I realised I had no idea where I was. It had to be a forest of some kind, suddenly I realised the sun wasn’t the source of light from before, at least not majorly. I was sitting on a ground surrounded by huge, strong trees. Then I saw it, every tree had several branches that illuminated with beautiful white and soft yellow light. The view was breathtaking, it looked as if the trees’ veins were gleaming with magic. I sat there, staring at the magnificent view, listening to the birds hidden away in the crown of leaves.

Recovering from the shock and overwhelming amazement I stood up and wondered what to do with myself. As if upon my calling I heard water flow and hit the grey, shining stones, as I turned my head right I saw a little, quaint waterfall followed by a thin river. The water crystal clear, reflecting lights from the trees as if they were stars on the night sky. I decided to follow the river and so I started walking.

I don’t know how long I walked, I didn’t feel exhausted at all though, I found myself completely hypnotised by that place.

Eventually I reached forest’s edge, I stopped and looked behind me. Something inside me didn’t want to leave it, it was softly repeating words “stay, stay, stay”. The place was beautiful but as I focused my eyes on the view before me, well, it was beautiful as well. So I took a step, leaving the shining forest behind. My steps now taken on a meadow with beautiful grass and flowers covering most of the ground. Sky was cloudless, the sun casting both the warmth and light onto the earth.

As I kept going forward I realised the water’s sound went silent and instead hypnotising sound of piano filled the clear air. I recognised the piece easily. Debussy - Clair de Lune, I smiled slightly and noticed a shadow in front of me, it could mean only one thing. Someone was sitting there, looking in my direction, without a doubt in my mind I approached them. It was a woman, her eyes filled with love, her smile making me feel safe, she stood up and without saying a word took my hand. I let her lead me, feeling nothing but warmth and safety, her soft hand wrapped around my wrist. We kept walking, I wondered if she could hear the piano playing, but I didn’t ask.

She let my hand go as we stood in front of what appeared to be a garden. I peeked to see what was hiding behind the lovely, white wooden fence. There were flowers in soft yellow and white colours everywhere, a bench standing on the right and an apple tree behind it.

The woman standing next to me opened the gate, delicately enough so that it opened only slightly, she gestured with her hand for me to enter the garden. I hesitated at first, a butterfly sat on my arm then, it’s wings looked as if they hid the whole ocean in them. I smiled at the woman and took a step. Having found myself on the other side of the fence, I turned around checking if the woman was following. Once our eyes met I could feel something was off. Her smile gone, the love in her eyes nowhere to be found. I blinked and... everything was gone. Opening my eyes again I saw nothing, the void surrounded me, soothing sound of piano replaced with agonising screams and endless whispers.

I look right, nothing. I turn left, nothing. What’s happening to me. The screams growing louder and louder, cutting in my skin as if they were the sharpest of blades. My hands trembling as my heart breaks slowly, unable to handle the sudden weight brought upon it. Minutes , nothing changes. The border between mental and physical pain faded, it doesn’t matter what or why; all I know is that it hurts. Hurts so badly. I feel like drowning, can’t take a breath, they pull me deeper and deeper. My hands on my head. I just want it all to stop and I don’t know what to do. Cry as if my life depended on it or scream my sorrows into the void. The latter wins and shortly after, my scream s the others, becomes a part of this troupe from hell.

I feel the heaviness of my eyelids, having no strength left as I continue to scream my soundless defeat, I give in. My eyes closing.

I opened my eyes, fearing what I might see, my breathing heavy. I looked around, I didn’t know where I was. But it’s better, oh it’s so much better. There’s just grass everywhere, no trees, no flowers, no paths to be followed. In front of me was a building, a beautiful building. It looked elegant, slightly like a palace. I rest my eyes upon another figure in front of me. A woman. Again. She was different though. Her eyes filled with worry and perhaps hope. She kneeled in front of me and offered her pale hand. Hesitation filled my heart, she saw the fear reflected in my still watery eyes as she gave me a reassuring smile. I don’t know why but I trusted her and gave her my hand. She helped me stand up and started walking hand in hand with me towards the building before us.

As we entered the palace, I expected her to disappear. She stayed however, her hand remaining on mine, radiating warmth. I took in my surroundings, the place inside looked fairly different than from the outside. The outside was rich and beautifully decorated, one would expect the inside to be the same if not more. On the contrary, the inside was plain white, with silver chandeliers and paintings hanging on one wall of the endless corridor. As we stood still next to the entrance I realised she was letting me lead.

I took the step and decided to approach the paintings. Walking down the corridor I looked at each one and, although amazed by the beauty of them, couldn’t help the sadness that overtook me.

The paintings showed many different things, a pianist playing piano piece in an empty hall, a child with it’s parents, two people holding hands, a group of friends sitting on the shore, a red car lonely on the highway. I stopped in front of one piece showcasing a shadow of a person surrounded by beautiful landscape, I looked closer and noticed a little signature in the left bottom corner. Checking with the rest of art in the room I confirmed my suspicion, every painting possessed the same signature.

My heart sank in sadness, sorrow, regret. My gaze still on the painting’s left bottom corner, my mind corrupted with pity. Standing there, my hand still in a hand of the woman next to me, I never felt more lonely.

With the last bit of light I have, I hope. I hope once the last human on Earth turns off the light for the final time, they won’t feel the same regret.

The signatures in the gallery haunting me till this very day;

”M, lost dreams” written in red.

This was my entry for the Tour Of My Brain Challenge! If anyone read this - thank you, feel free to leave your opinion about this piece in the comments :)

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