Useless Thoughts

Trigger Warning: Suicidal Thoughts

#CWClub

        The large mansion remains silent. All of the workers had been given the day off and Sylvie’s father had left as well in order to attend some formal annual gathering. Lying on her back on the hardwood floor of her bedroom isn’t her time of choice, but when she discovers herself unable to conjure up a distraction to keep her away from the depths of her mind, this chilly spot on the floor is where she can be found.

         She reaches her hand up above her head and rests it as if she was attempting to touch the sky. However, such a thing is futile and would fill her with nothing but ponderous disappointment. The grandfather clock stands tall at the other side of the room. It ticks loudly as if to tell the girl to enjoy the time she has left.

         Sylvie can only smile at it. He wouldn’t understand. Reverting her gaze to her reaching hand, she begins to imagine warm drips flowing down from her arm and slowly pooling all around her. What would her father think? Would he just marry that blasted wench who’s been after his money and claim her children as his own? And the butlers? Would they only reluctantly clean such a bothersome mess and be thankful for one less person to serve?

        Her lips curl slightly, exasperatedly. A sudden feeling of exhaustion washes over Sylvie, despite her never having attempted or accomplished anything. No, she continues her train of thought, dropping her arm and covering her unavailing silver eyes. It doesn’t matter what they would think.

         The grandfather clock strikes twelve and loud explosions roar in the night sky.

         She smiles lightly as she stands and walks up to her large window. Her imagination paints the black starry sky with an array of colors just like what she had seen the day before she had undergone the surgery. The colors danced exuberantly in the sky and everyone had bright smiles painted across their faces. The explosions continue over the nearby lake and tears begin to plop down and splatter against her bare feet. She clutches the closed velvety curtain.

“Happy New Year.”