Rain

❝They say if you love someone you gotta let them go, and if they return to you that's surely how you'll know.❞

~~

The rain soaked my thin hoodie, making me numb from the cold. I could feel a mixture of raindrops and tears slide down my face. I couldn’t tear my eyes from what lied in front of me. It’s been days, week, months even but I still stand here.

Day after day I stand here, wondering where I went wrong. What I could have changed but in reality... I couldn’t change a damn thing. I was meant to stand here and wonder. I was meant to stare at her tombstone. I was meant to hurt, to regret... to be in pain.

I want to say sorry, say the things I never got the chance to, hell even tell her the big new. I kneeled, letting my hand touch the carved ‘N’ of her name. I held in the cry that threatened to come out, trying my best to swallow the lump in my throat.

“You once told me that sometimes you have to let the people you love go, and if they return that’s how you know for sure if it’s real,” a small dry laugh escaped from my lips, “I’m back.”

“I don’t know where to start. I can’t actually say this to you, nor will I ever get the chance. Well first, I love you. I have ever since I meant you. You always had this glow, this bubbling flame of happiness. Anyone that got near you was happy. Yeah, you had your days when that glow or flame was nowhere to be found but who doesn’t.

I wanted to be with you. I saw a future that I’m sure you never thought of with me. I thought of all the places we could have gone to, the things we could have achieved, followed our dreams but I can’t have that. I mean I can but I wanted to do it with you. I wanted you to by my side and see or do anything.

You were my motivation. My world. My light. We had our ups and downs but still made it to the end. Enough sad stuff, guess what,” I paused as if I was actually going to get an answer.

“I’m leaving next week. College. That school you thought would be good for me, I got in. My major is still in the mist but I’ll figure it out. I won’t be able to do this for a while. I promise to come back and update you on my life, you won’t miss a thing,” I kissed my hand and placed it on the tombstone then got up.

#QCMonthly