Mightier then the sword
By: L.F. Young
21 July 2022
*** trigger warning: none
*** not my picture
Part one
Ms. chow’s coffee and tea shop
13:30, Friday the 13, 2035
Most definitely not, a Tuesday
I hit the enter button, as I throw my head back and release a hideously maniacal laughter, that resonates throughout the small coffee and tea shop. Setting not only the staffs ears on ultimate cringe mode, but it makes the newly entering customer’s think twice about continuing their path forward, or to choose another venue to procure their desired refreshments at.
Instantly I feel the wet dirty smack, of my mother’s cleaning rag cleanly make full on with the exposed part of the back of my neck. The sound an feel of said disgustingly foul and soiled rag is not only felt but heard throughout the family owned an respect coffee and tea shop. And with the sting and humiliation of that welt wiping rage of doom. I’m brought back to the here and now, realizing not what I’ve done, but feeling what I can’t doing.
“Timmothy, so help me buddha, I will convert to the Catholic Church so I can pray to god that he reprimand’s your soul to the bowels of hell, if you so much as make a peep for the rest of the working day,” said Ms. Chow as she bonked her only child lovingly on the head before giving him a giant embarrassing kiss on the left side of his cheek before heading back to the counter to continue helping with the order’s. “And if you so much as jump back online and start playing that stupid MMO thing-a-magigi, I will rip the internet service out of this whole building… so help me god!”
“Buy mom… we’re Buddhist’s, and Buddha doesn’t believe in violence.” Smile Timmothy.
“Thats it! I’m sticking him back up, an into my womb… I just knew having him two weeks early was a big mistake. But no, that useless husband of mine said its ok hunny. The doctor say’s he’s doing great and it would be better for the both of you to have the delivery now, instead of waiting two more weeks.” Said Ms. Chow, as she made her way back around the customer ordering station. As she set eyes of death and destruction, on her only begotten son, who she loved more then life itself.
“It was then, he knew… he fuked up!” Said the customer sitting at the next table.
“Oh, you’re hilarious.” Said Timmothy.
“Run Forest, run.” Said another customer three tables over.
“You guy’s need to come up with new material…” the hair on the back of Timmothy’s neck stood straight out, warning him of impending danger and a butt ton of pain. It was his version of a Spidy sense you could say.
With every ounce of courage he had, Timmothy turned his head in the direction of the pay counter. And saw the blood red eyes of an enraged rhino charging his way.
“Oh… snap!!!” Said Timmothy as he slammed the brand new laptop closed, praying to Buddha and any other benevolent entity, that he didn’t just break another expense laptop. This would be the third one this year and it was only August. Wasting no time Timmothy shoved the hopeful laptop in his man bag, slammed down the last of his blue berry muffin, while chugging down the remaining amount of chia tea all the while making a beeline straight for the front door.
Timmothy made it to the front door before his extremely pissed off mother, whom he loved more the life itself. Could make the necessary turn in time, to thwart his escape. Only to run smack dab into the waiting arms and chest of his father, who just happened to be holding open the front door so his newest employee could get inside, seeing as his hands were full of small cardboard boxes.
“Hold on there son, where you going in such a dag gone hurry?” Then Timmothy’s father’s own Spidy tingle warned him of impending doom. To not only his manhood but the foreseeable future of his greatly desired and appreciated sex life. David, Timmothy’s father didn’t even need to turn his eyes in the direction of the perceive danger… he just knew. David immediately held out his other hand, stopping the new employee from crossing the threshold of his coffee and tea shop. So his most beloved son could make a break for it, while his other hand still held open the front door.
Timmothy could hear his dad yelling over his mother’s screaming for him to get back here this instant.
“Run Forest… run!!!” Said Timmothy’s father.
Timmothy had never loved his father more, then in that instant right then and there.
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