Absence

For the first time, the house is dark and empty. I had to walk a lightless porch. I was dressed in black, my eyes were red, my legs were chained, my lungs felt like acid, and my throat clogged.

I promised my dad to protect her like he did. To be the man of the house in his prolonged absence, and I did everything I could. But the angel that took him, took her, too. I couldn't do anything.

My stagnate stares faced an aisle, and the kitchen was at its end, where she always stayed. But this time, she didn't peek from the door drying her hands with the apron, welcoming the sorrowful state of mine. The cause of my greatest grief wasn't there to ease it on me. Where did I need to go? Everything felt as tight as where she was. Everything felt as isolated as where she was.

All I did was kneeling. My clutched tears overcame the facade of stoicism, and the child in me wept until he cowered.

"I'm too old for lullabies

But I wouldn't mind a last

All I am is a child in a guise

Tears are falling down fast

Picturing, so I don't forget your eyes

As life goes on, and I raise my mast

One of my worst goodbyes

To a loving memory, that'll last"

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