Counting... - Poem

TW: Eating Disorder, Anxiety, Depression.

⊹ ──────❦───── ⊹

Counting calories day and night,

Wondering if I should take this bite.

Anxiety muddled and riddled through;

Left feeling empty and 'whatever do I do'??

Measuring the inches day by day--

Starving and wasting away...

Tears and bones exposing me,

But still everyone just let me be.

I never wondered then, but I wonder now

How I could ever think I was a 'cow'

At 93 pounds and still losing more

How could no one see and open a door?

Scales and tape measures became my life--

Even considering going under the knife...

But with unhappiness came desire;

A need to become a rectifier.

To start a journey long and hard,

A lifestyle that I thought was barred.

A road to recovery that was long overdue,

But a path traveled by two.

His and love helped me grow

And to learn to never think so low.

Though this was my journey to take,

Without him, its one I never would make.

And now I think I can make it on my own

To continue to add some meat to my bone.

Course he's there by my side,

But now my ED can't ever hide.

⊹ ──────❦───── ⊹

This is a very personal poem about my struggled with my ED. I didn't write this for attention or compliments or "I can relate" comments. I wrote this to help continue my journey of recovery. ED's are a real problem. And don't always look like those people with nothing but bones protruding. Its not glamorous, its not edgy or trendy. And if you can catch it early, recognize the signs, or even maybe figure out how to avoid it, do so. Starving yourself and living day by day on a scale is not a life.