What's the haps, wild kings and falselings. Ok, just a little disclaimer. I hate the royals. I hated Aegon for basically dismantling seven ancient kingdoms, I hate what Dany is trying to do now, and well frankly at least Joff made it slightly more amusing. It’s like having a clownish president, if you’re gonna have one, might as well go the whole distance, history’s gonna chuckle at you from time to time but you’ll be ed. Anywho, here goes.
7) Mace Tyrell: I don’t even know if he counts, but he needs to be in this list so I’m taking care of it early on. You cannot do this without Mace. Lets go down the list of what constitutes being a royal: a)regal headwear[check] b) amazing talents, he can carry a tune[check] c)he’s got armor AND a horse AND a 100,000 army, AND the Redwyne fleet[check] d) well, not to brag but check on that e)he’s got a confusing name[check; his first name is a threatening weapon, while his last is well Tyrell, this is arguably a weirder name than Dickon Manwoody]. So all in all, take a shot at Mace Tyrell and you’ll miss, foreal. PS: Looking at Marg, his wife was hot asf, you get it son.
6) Stannis: The King who Cared. That’s all. Its not even that he is one of those rare ilk that understands succession(take notes DnD), but its that he will serve. In a world where royals are practically untouchable, someone who views the highest borns and the lowest gutter rats in the same light of the law deserves to be applauded also. What you call stubbornness to not forces with Robb, I call strong will, the will to hold Storm’s End surviving on scraps. He kills Renly, so he has no brotherly love? Firstly, look up Stannis’ peach quote, it will break your heart. Second, he did his duty, he gritted his teeth while Robert took the Stormlands from him, because that’s what you do, you grit your teeth. You don’t kill your goddamn kin, especially not your daughter, you dumbfucks who slaughtered his only heir. Call me delusional for not accepting s5 Stannis, but that was not the same man who said “I was trying to win the throne to save the kingdom, when I should have been trying to save the kingdom to win the throne.”
5) Doran Martell: I love schemers, and they don’t come any better than him. If you’re gonna be on top of the chain, you gotta be moving some hefty pieces. I’m talking some Littlefinger level plays. Sometimes, your revenge just takes 17 odd years, it happens to the best of us. The man who can call himself the grass, and make it sound totally threatening is someone you don’t wanna cross, as his adolescence induced daughter and nieces soon discovered. And why not pick Oberyn you say, well here’s only one quote. ‘Sometimes it is best to study a game before you attempt to play it. My brother loved the fight for its own sake, but I only play such games as I can win’. Win. That is the key to being a king, or in this case a prince, to really cement one’s legacy. While that rule will be violated in my top pick, I am thoroughly enjoying his arc so far. He wants revenge, but also wants to protect his people by avoiding a needless war. ‘the children pay the price’ he says, which is a sentiment I really respect in the context of this world and his history with war. Of course Arya is managing vengeance, Lysa managed to stay out of war, so what the deuce. Well, it’s the fact that he is aiming to achieve both that is so cool.
4) Brandon OG Stark: Honestly dude is the king of kings. First of all he had the sense to build his home turf on bloody hot springs in the middle of a freakin barren icehole. More importantly, he built the Wall, stopping one God dead in its track. Then he helped build Storm’s End, stopping another.
3) Robert: He deserves his place in this list because he finally ended a three hundred year dynasty. Of course it doesn’t help that his house played its part in the Conquest too, but the fact that he finally has the balls to actually step upto the so called ‘dragons’ who did as they pleased is still awesome. Of course Jon Arryn and Tywin played their parts in the Revolution too, but its called Robert’s Rebellion for a reason. He was the face, he had the most at stake, and he had the most to gain. Had he failed, his house would have been demolished first. And he is the one who finally made the crown prince piss rubies with a swing of his pure spiked iron. No magic, no prophecy, no sorcery, Robert won through hard work, strategy, alliances, and all to save Westeros from a tyrannical regime of using sorcery to subject everyone to kiss their arses. Adieu three hundred years of unpronounceable names.
2) Bittersteel: This dude is just pure awesome, if not for the only reason that when all else seemed to be failing, he did not fail his king. He led the charge against magic, and almost won, or at least took out its eye. Even in exile, you couldn’t find someone more loyal, and loyalty inspires loyalty, as evident by the GC. And for all you Barristan lovers, he died in a ditch. A true measure of a great royal is how you die. How did Aegor? By commanding his friends to melt the flesh of his skull, dip his skull in gold, and take it when they go back to reclaim Westeros, and finally fulfill his unresolved promise to his half brother. Now that is something. If you’re gonna be a royal, and have people serve you and follow you, its only right you show some signs of loyalty and service also, and that’s why I love him endlessly.
1)Robar Royce: High King(puff puff) of the Vale, the Fingers, and the Mountains of the Moon, was by far the greatest rulers, and maybe one of the best characters GRRM can take credit for, if his story is ever elaborated. I love House Royce, by far the best minor house, and one that is vastly unsung in the show. But I digress, this was a king who almost single handedly stopped the Andal wave, the king under whose command an entire kingdom united and staked their legacies, to preserve their traditions and their way of life they trusted in him to defeat the usurpers. He would do anything for his people, and they say sometimes your friends are your greatest enemies. In a time where squabbling kingdoms were selling each other out for petty gains, he managed to inspire the great kings to ranks in defense, by smacking sense into them, in one case by winning in an archery contest. He was the leader Westeros needed, and he delivered time and time again, defeating the Andal hosts, and even stripping the Corbrays of their ancestral sword himself. Six times the Andals charged, and though being grossly outnumbered, the King called upon the old gods to give them the strength to repel, and repel, and repel. He even killed the great giant Torgold Tollett, and only by way of a mummer’s farce by the cowardly and selfish Arryn lord was he defeated. The winged falcon may have had the last victory, but the last King of the Runsetone lives on in history as one of the greatest royals, perhaps one of the most crucial of the ancient royals.
So that was it, I'll get the four remaining ones out in about an hour, I guess.
#Thronesfest challenge
Comments (2)
Yeh I like the Royces as well yohan Royce is such a bad ass hope he gets rid of LF soon I think most of the Lords are with LF in the books and i say he knows that they are being bought corbray grafton waymwood few others he's bought there loyalty but still Royce still has a bigger force than the whole lot but won't move on LF till time is right
Great blog :+1: Someone else shares my love for the royces, such and ancient and full of great history house, and the first death in a magnificent series was Waymar Royce , i really hope that George focuses more on the Royces on the next 2 books.