30 Days of Shadow: Day 6

, so I’ll put 7 and 8 in one post tomorrow.

Day 6: Shadow Meditation

This one was deep, I cried after.

The pathway was cracked and broken. The trees along the path are baron of leaves, dead or dying. They looked like large alder trees. It's quiet and misty, no sun in sight.

The tree at the end is massive. It looks to be an old cherry blossom tree with a large twisty trunk and deeply textured bark. Almost like veins or deep cuts. The branches are split and broken, the opening into it looks burnt along the edges.

The pool at the bottom of the tree and cavern is like a well, only slightly bigger and not as deep. It came up to my knees and the stones were heavy and grey colored. There’s only one light inside the cavern, a lantern that should have burned out of fuel but is still blazing.

This is where I felt a wave of guilt, but also worry and sadness. I didn’t know how bad it was because I tried to hide it from everyone, including myself. I cried from this point on through the meditation.

The reflection in the sacred pool is bruised, crying and beaten. The part of me that I try and hide so much because I didn’t want to make things worse. I didn’t know how to reach out or if it was a good idea because of the situation my family was in. And I kept quiet and took the carnage from home and the outside world for fear of conflict or not being taken seriously. The part that has been suppressed for years and had no outlet to release the chaos. The deep pain that I can’t shake because a child has been so influenced by hatred and selfishness that she’s afraid to become herself and just be.

After taking the reflection in it is scared, but no longer hurt. I feel heavy like I’ve taken on the weight of not only me but the weight of my family in the time my reflection resonated. After exiting the tree, it begins to grow leaves again and the path appears to be patched up. I thank the tree and it seems to almost shiver, like it is telling me it’s alright to regrow again, and this time more vibrant and healthy. To come back stronger and sound mind.

Grass is growing and the sun is appearing through the mist again. The fog has let up some and I can head distant birds. ‘It will all be alright’ I hear from the tree. ‘You will shed your leaves and regrow new, garden your bark and begin again.’