numb – chapter iv

(warning:slight swearing)

chapter 4

dazed and confused

Dan's eyes widen as he ejects himself from the bed, shuffling to his feet. "what are we going to do? Phil we know how they're detectives!" Dan runs him sweats hands through his curled hair. "I don't know! should I delete the live show?" Phil asks, "no, people have already seen it..." Dan says, deep in thought. "this is all because you're to afraid to come out..." Phil whispers under his breath, making Dan's thinking come to a halt. "what was that?" Dan says looking at Phil. "I said, if you weren't too damn of a coward, we wouldn't be having these kinds problems!" Phil spat at Dan, furious. Phil's mind was going mad, if it weren't for Dan they wouldn't be hiding. he loves Dan deeply, but he dislikes the fact of him thinking of what others think of them if they come out together. "what? so it's my fault now? huh?" Dan days walking towards phil, "if you knew I was sleeping on your bed then why did you have the damn live stream?" Dan says, eying Phil. "in the first place, why did you sleep in my bed?" Phil asks. "My head was fucking pounding, Phil. The comfort of your presence relaxes me, dammit!" Dan says before sighing and looking down to fumble his fingers. "Phil I love you but you're acting immature." Dan was trying avoid Phil's angry look. "if you love me then why won't you let the world know? Dan, if you really love me then we should've come out by now, " Phil lifts Dan's chin to meet his eyes. "if you love me, them prove it, Dan." Phil says in a softer tone, moments later Dan exits the room.

Dan was thinking, hard. he was on the couch looking at the wooden floor, his mind was going blank and confused. was Phil right? "if you love me, them prove it, Dan." Phil's words were ringing inside of Dan's head, as if they were taunting him. Dan loved Phil dearly, he never left his side when Phil was in his darkest of days, he understood Phil's contradictions in his nature that made everyone but Dan misjudge him, Dan loved Phil. but he wasn't ready to be misjudged again, that feeling of pity for yourself and that soulcrushing guilty feeling of not defending yourself. Dan wasn't ready to feel all of that again, he wasn't ready to be in bed all day, thinking of his imperfections and mistakes. he just wasn't ready. Phil came in the worst and the best time, he made Dan's world light up in colors unimaginable, he made everything clear and understandable. he helped Dan pick up the broken pieces of himself, but he also helped the feeling of being paranoid. Dan became paranoid and afraid, the mixture of both satisfaction and dissatisfaction engulfed him in a spiral of confusion.

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ayee they're fighting. yo I hope you enjoyed this dank chapter and I'll see you guys in the next blog, ciao!