Looking back on staff life

Howdy ho howdy ho it's UnseemlyHalo!

And this may or may not be the last post I make here.

I've decided to step down as a staff member and become a regular member for the time being. Not sure if I'll apply again in the future to become staff again, or maybe I'll just leave here entirely. But for now, I need a break. Working on this community for... How long has it been?

A year and seven months?

Practically two years, has been exhausting.

I just want to relax, and come online when I want to, instead of working on here because I have to. To anyone who is actually reading this, being a staff member is harder than it looks.

Yes, we make the rules, but we also have to oblige to them. Throughout the two years I've been here, I've seen many many people come and go. To be honest, this community is dying. It's prime time was when this place was going through the spring of 2018. More around June, maybe.

I've met so many people on here, and I've made so many new friends. I'm glad I had this opportunity to make my mark on here, leave a dent. Have some sort of affect on the community at least.

I've spent a lot of all nighters trying to improve the place, or even just to call my friends all night. I have my stories, and I have my experiences. I'm just glad it happened. It all feels so quick though, everything went by like a blur.

Of course, I've had many bad experiences here as well. I've made mistakes, and I'm still owning up to them. I'm embarrassed about my mistakes quite frankly. I'm just glad I at least got some sort of start to fixing them. But the mistake I made the most was working way to hard. I rarely gave myself breaks, and my life for a long time revolved around this community.

Even though Stariaat is rarely online, she's nice from the times I've got to talk to her. I just wish I could've done more on preventing this from happening. It was good while it lasted.

To those who have been there for me, and helped me in any way possible, thank you. I mean that. This place - this community of people make me extremely happy. I think that's why I haven't been able to really feel happiness since I was on hiatus for a month.

But I need this. I need this relaxation. This may sound narcissistic, but I've worked so hard on making this community an enjoyable place. But now it's not enjoyable as it used to be.

This is upsetting isn't it? To me at least, it is. I've been here for awhile. Sorry I keep repeating myself haha. But I see this more as a new chapter in my life. Where I can focus on myself and how I can improve myself to make less mistakes, and be happier with myself.

Although I am happy with how I helped make a change on here. I would continue on how much I truly appreciate this community, I'll go ahead and stop rambling now.

Thank you, for everything Stariaat Amino. You have shaped me for the better.

Goodbye.