Yo! I decided to do the music in me challenge too. Ofc mine will be disqualified. But, I’m still gonna participate in it. So, here are the songs that describe myself in some sort of way.
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Evanescence: My Immortal
↺ ◄◄ II ►► ⋮≡
Volume:
▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▯ 90%
My Immortal By Evanescence!
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I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
You still have all of me, me, me
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This song, I sing first everywhere I go. It has a deep meaning to me. It, describes my sadness, things I miss about my childhood. My mind fighting the fears and pain but like it says... the pain is just too real. It’s like I’m singing to my anxieties and fears, when I was young I’d use my own fears as a guide but they consumed me. The song pretty much describes it all word for word. Myself I sing this too because I know I betrayed myself more than anyone else.
Fireflies By Owl City!
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You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep
'Cause they fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude but I would just stand and stare
I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance
A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread (thread, thread)
I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep)
Leave my door open just a crack
Please take me away from here
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
Please take me away from here
Why do I tire of counting sheep
Please take me away from here
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep
To ten million fireflies
I'm weird cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell (said farewell)
But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar (jar, jar)
I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep)
I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep)
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This was a song I listening to when I was young and it always gave me adventurous hope. Like, anything was possible in the world. You just need to see it and believe. I used to run around in the dark under the stars and trees in the backyard thinking about this song. It gave me a whole feeling hard to describe but that hope gave me a lot growing up. It made me want to be creative and make my own world.
Pretty Girl by Maggie Lindermann!
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I can swear, I can joke
I say what's on my mind
If I drink, if I smoke
I keep up with the guys
And you see me holding up my middle finger to the world
Fuck your ribbons and your pearls
'Cause I'm not just a pretty girl
I'm more than just a picture
I'm a daughter and a sister
Sometimes it's hard for me to show
That I'm more than just a rumor
Or a song on your computer
There's more to me than people know
Some days I'm broke, some days I'm rich
Some days I'm nice, some days I can be a bitch
Some days I'm strong, some days I quit
I don't let it show, but I've been through some shit
I can swear, I can joke
I say what's on my mind
If I drink, if I smoke
I keep up with the guys
And you see me holding up my middlefinger to the world
Fuck your ribbons and your pearls
'Cause I'm not just a pretty girl
I'm more than just a number
I'm a hater, I'm a lover
Sometimes it's hard for me to show
That I'm more than just a title
Or a comment going viral
There's more to me than people know
Some days I'm broke, some days I'm rich
Some days I'm nice, some days I can be a bitch
Some days I'm strong, some days I quit
I don't let it show, but I've been through some shit
I can swear, I can joke
I say what's on my mind
If I drink, if I smoke
I keep up with the guys
And you see me holding up my middlefinger to the world
Fuck your ribbons and your pearls
'Cause I'm not just a pretty girl
I'm not just a pretty girl, yeah
I'm not just a pretty girl
No I'm not just a pretty girl
I can swear, I can joke
I say what's on my mind
If I drink, if I smoke
I keep up with the guys
And you see me holding up my middlefinger to the world
Fuck your ribbons and your pearls
'Cause I'm not just a pretty girl
I'm not just a pretty girl, yeah
I'm not just a pretty girl
I'm not just a pretty girl
I'm not just a pretty girl
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When I heard this song I related to every word so much. People online especially will think I’m just a “pretty girl” without considering who I am. I’m one of those types that doesn’t care if I piss people off, I won’t follow life’s rules and what’s considered “normal.” Many of you have heard me say I don’t fit in boxes people try to put me in, or labels. Sometimes I’m strong, but sometimes I’m weak and people only expect one side of me. I fall apart too and I can be rude and make mistakes but I try and idc about people’s rules.
Unwell By Matchbox 20!
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All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be, me
I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell
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This song, it describes me so well that I’d use it as a bio in itself. I stare at the ceiling for hours, and even with people... they say I’m crazy and I know I’m not. I tell them I’m working on it that I’m just a little unstable right now. When in public I’m extremely nervous thinking people are judging me in silence. Every aspect of this song I relate to. Interesting enough I heard it growing up but I never really heard the lyrics, I only paid attention to the music. Now it’s a song that is me. From anxiety, the darkness, it’s me.
NVM by Faith Marie
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Will they understand?
It's the question of our lifetime
Trying to find the right words
But what if they don't care?
Never mind
Delt with it myself
Hiding in the bathroom, wearing long sleeve shirts
Scared of what I might do
Never mind
No one seems to hear you till you're loud
Then they call you crazy
Then they call you crazy
Quietly I battle with myself
Days are getting hazy
Days are getting hazy
No one seems to notice when you're down
Unless you are bleeding
Unless you are bleeding
But sometimes the worst wounds
Are the ones you can't see
Are the ones you can't see
Never mind
Do they understand?
I'm begging for an ally
Think I'm just confused
Blow it off, it's nothing new
Never mind
Little do they know
The murder of my right brain
It still has me grieving, take these pills for sleeping
My world is turning black and white
No one seems to hear you till you're loud
Then they call you crazy
Then they call you crazy
Quietly I battle with myself
Days are getting hazy
Days are getting hazy
No one seems to notice when you're down
Unless you are bleeding
Unless you are bleeding
But sometimes the worst wounds
Are the ones you can't see
Are the ones you can't see
Never mind
Never mind
If life is but a dream
Flowing gently down the stream
Then I'm caught in the rapids
Leaking boats and broken things
Merrily, merrily
Swimming towards the shore
Of voices that was harmless, only threw me overboard
If live is but a dream
Nothing but a dream
And I just wanna smile
Wanna smile in my sleep
Merrily, merrily
Nightmares all the time
No one hears the screams
Just wave as I float by
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream
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NVM is a deep song that as soon as I heard it by chance from YouTube, I felt a deep pressure in my chest. I related to it again so much that it almost brought me to tears. I became obsessed with it as if I was telling a piece of my story tho the song does not belong to me. How is it a song written by another effects us so heavily? As if this person sees into our soul and tells us what’s deep within us we try to hide.
Blown Away by Carrie Underwood
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Dry lightning cracks across the skies
Those storm clouds gather in her eyes
Daddy was mean a old mister
Mama was an angel in the ground
The weather man called for a twister
She prayed blow it down
There's not enough rain in Oklahoma
To wash the sins out of that house
There's not enough wind in Oklahoma
To rip the nails out of the past
Shatter every window till it's all blown away,
Every brick, every board, every slamming door blown away
Till there's nothing left standing,
Nothing left of yesterday
Every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away, blown away
She heard those sirens screaming out
Her daddy laid there ed out on the couch
She locked herself in the cellar
Listened to the screaming of the wind
Some people called it taking shelter
She called it sweet revenge
Shatter every window till it's all blown away,
Every brick, every board, every slamming door blown away
Till there's nothing left standing,
Nothing left of yesterday
Every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away, blown away
There's not enough rain in Oklahoma
To wash the sins out of that house
There's not enough wind in Oklahoma
To rip the nails out of the past
Shatter every window till it's all blown away, (Blown away)
Every brick, every board, every slamming door blown away (blown away)
Till there's nothing left standing,
Nothing left of yesterday
Every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away,
Blown away, blown away, blown away, blown away
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Theres a White House I grew up in. Horrors happened there. Some of you know I sing this song often. I chose it specifically because it describes my childhood to me. My mother almost dying, my father being... not great. There’s no amount of wind or rain that can erase the wrongs that happened in that house and still I wish it’d all just blow away. Take him and everything else with it.
Never Too Late by Three Days Grace
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This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it?
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late
Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it?
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late
Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost
Can't get it back
The life we had
Won't be ours again
This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late (It's never too late)
It's not too late
It's never too late
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This song I relate to in a strange way. It’s like two sides of me, one saying it’ll all be ok but the other not so much. The war back and forth is never ending but despite the war I still try my best to never give up. I left James (my father) with so much hope for the outside world. Shattered by my experiences up to that point but excited to be someone new. But like the song says, this world will never be what I expected.
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Well sorry for the doom and gloom playlist. Lol I guess I don’t relate to a lot of thrilling things. My taste in music is dark like the songs I write. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Comment below what you think.
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