Positivity and Self Love

(THANK YOU FOR THE FEATURE!?)

I've always been negative about myself.

I got a great score on a test, but this person completely beat me. Someone gave me a compliment, I don't believe them. It's a vicious cycle, that just isn't worth it.

When I was younger, I was the best at every subject. This isn't saying much, as now my primary school class mates are at the bottom of Secondary school. I managed to stay near the top. Just.

I should feel proud, but I'm not. Everything I fail, everything I mess up, everything I say wrong makes me feel inferior to the amazing people of my class. I don't hate them. I envy them. I was never at the top again, the only source that seemed to bring my parents joy, saying their first child is the top of every class.

Now, no longer at the top, I feel like an embarrassment, a failure and most of all, a scratched penny.

The penny might seem weird in this scenario. I know. But I do. I feel like I've gone from a beautiful, shiny penny to the penny you find on the street, green starting to cover it.

Then I realised something whilst I was thinking of this. Underneath that grime, the penny is still there. It only needs a polishing.

This now translates, and here's how.

I'm going to study harder, to become the best again,

I'm going to practise, to be the best forever,

And most of all, I'm going to stop comparing myself to others.

Sure, it'll be hard, but no one told me this will happen over night. In fact, no one told me to do this.

I'm doing this for myself.

See? I'm already closer, as I'm not comparing!

So now, me, in the quest for positivity. Start a journal and document the good things, take those compliments and believe they are true.

Don't be me. I spent years feeling like crap over marks, and in the end, they don't matter as long as I've done my best.

Good luck. :heart:

-Anon