My entire life has been a battle...a battle for me to stay alive....a battle for acceptance....a battle for a house.....a battle to succeed...I was either hated by relatives...hated by the other kids at school or anything...everyone always ganged up on me....as I got older I earned everyone's respect, but for what...
Everyday I stay positive...I give back to my loved ones...I go to therapy, I surround myself with positive energy but...I seem to lose worth in why I should stay around...my friends only talk to me when spoken to....my mom is always busy with the house work...I try my best to help her cause no one else will...my dad only talks to me at times and when we do it's basic stuff like something that happened in a sport or a "tip" he's giving me.....
My brother and I got close but we aren't on the level of closeness where I can open my soul to him...I don't think i can ever do that...my love life has never been amazing either...my girlfriend and I have broke up a couple times and said bad things to each other and as I'm fighting to stay on top and to be positive and trying my best to fight my depression she has her issues of cutting and drinking......every night she says she wants to die and I know that feeling and it sucks hearing it every single night from a loved one.....my own personal reasons for living...I have a few music projects but I'm constantly stuck...I don't really have much reasons for myself if you take out loved ones and all that....my only goal in my life was to leave a legacy...had that be a negative one or positive one I wanted to leave a legacy and help as many as I can....I don't know what I'm doing anymore...I'm sitting on my bathroom floor writing this....my future is so hopeless and unknown....I've done so much that I regret....I feel like I should die......if stuff is going to keep being like this I might have to.....
Comments (1)
You make mention of the word legacy often. I don't fear death, I fear being forgotten, so I think I understand what you're trying to relate.