searching for keys on mars

and there's something painful with every emotion, cuz happiness is bittersweet, and sadness is rushed heartache.

and i wonder what can be done when a single word can raise hell or grow a heaven, so where is the refuge from human interaction

cuz when i'm on my own i am just less lonely, and i crave for the warmth that will wholly embrace me.

and in everything and everyone i crave to leave a part of me, but the loneliness that comes with it is a compounded tyrrany.

and it feels like i'm dancing on a stage of puppetry. And i loathe every smile with which i share a part of me. Like a desperate salesman knocking at house doors, then turning away after phony smiles and vexed eye rolls.

so God help me to feel less alien. human affinity feels like an act of indulgence, when i'm behind drawn curtains under the midnight blankets, gasping in attempts to not hyperventilate from loneliness.

Image not mine