Is This Love?

***

You told me I wasn’t enough.

I hid my face behind a smile,

a fabricated face.

I spat out fake thoughts and feelings

your hand so delicately placed.

My friends spoke to a fractured shell,

a hollow, empty cave.

The things they said were never heard,

the words were tossed into a grave.

A grave that you had dug for me,

the place I thought I’d lie.

A grave under the floorboards,

on which I thought I’d die.

But that was many years ago,

and I’m no longer broken inside.

A long awaited time has come,

and now I must decide.

As you lie here in front of me

on your deathbed still,

I chose to give you silver-lined flowers

or piercing words that kill.

At first I think I’ll let you burn,

bask in your demise.

But somewhere deep inside of me,

I feel something arise.

This feeling, is it really love?

Warm and pure and true?

Yes, this tiny, shriveled, sliver of love

is enough for me to forgive you,

Mom.

***

#forgivenessday