|| experiment 2005, specimen 121, test 202.0 ||

i am a standing in the mirror,

silence kind of girl

pale fingers tracing up one hip

and hatred down the other

but i am also a confidence

injected specimen,

experiment 2005

gone right for once

i am something

that only works correctly

when no one is watching

fumbling and stuttering

isn’t my first reaction,

because alone is

the calmest place to be

that’s why i like

to be around people

who feel like home

grasping for out of reach words

becomes a distant memory

sometimes, i feel like a liar-

invalid and fake as

melted plastic

and makeup brushes

i feel like a stranger

to this body and

my missing piece

becomes more pronounced,

sticking out like ribs

from a malnourished stray

hunger for love

becomes starvation,

an untamed monster

chewing out my stomach

right brain seizes left brain

and shakes it upside down

until i am made of

math and twisted logic,

sick with vertigo and deja vu

watch me try to

reason and guilt

all my feelings away

for me, alone, unsupervised,

is both my best self

and my worst

#oct9prompt

images found on pinterest