Agnus dei

You wanted to see if I would fight back — you wanted to see if you could test my patience. Your palm kept hitting my thigh over and over again.

It started to hurt.

Slap, slap, slap,

"Stop it" I grabbed your hard forcefully. Your hand was in my grip. "Don't touch me". Laughter filled your stomach. Venom had filled the pores in my skin.

I am as bad as you for reactioning as that is what you wanted. You pushed me past many limits. Limit of how much you could test me. Limit of how sad you could make me feel. Limit of what I'd do next.

It was endless.

Sometimes i forget what you did in the relationship. There are times where I suddenly something and think that is not a relationship and that is abuse.

There is probably many things I have forgotten about and will pop in my head at a later date.

My first ex was an abusive piece of shit but you — you are the worst someone can get. You are a nightmare. You are someone worst nightmare in a relationship.

How does it feel that you; the way you are, how you are, what you did to me, was the last push I needed. "I was a bad boyfriend, I realise now"

No you don't ;

I told you to apologise for things. You apologised then just did it again. Over and over again. You did something and you hurt my feelings.

"Sorry, I won't do it again".

You are just a liar.

You don't realise.

You only just say things I want to hear.

"Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world,

give them rest.

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world,

give them eternal rest".

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