A father like you...

(I am not a father. I am not a man. I didn't have a father around growing up, and when he was around he was...well the worst. I did find this poem challenging because of those factors. But I wanted to try and write from the perspective of a father and what fatherhood feels like. Anyway...I tried haha. Thanks for reading!!)

Your hero.

The kind that is a protector.

One that would grab any monster by it's collar, look them in the eyes with intimidation, even when it's himself.

A real man

The kind that is dependent on his child's good morning smile and not that good night drink.

You look a lot like me; you have similar mannerisms, too.

Excitement jolts me, and whenever one of my catchphrases slips out of your smile.

You are innocent.

Even when we both know I've made a mistake, you look at me doe-eyed, and I'm reminded of the time our eyes first locked.

You still believe in me.

You will mimic my behavior, though, I know that is only the gateway to who you truly are.

I carry the weight of trying to be the perfect role model for you, even when my own father had no form at all.

I've had to teach myself what good fathering looks like, and I've made blunders, but I am always here.

Unconditionally.

I try to show you what making the right choice looks like, but sometimes my own mirror gets clouded.

I make errors.

But fatherhood is about being there even on your ugliest days, when your persona is unrecognizable.

My job is to help you be able to see when the mirror is blurred.

That being a man is more than providing, and that it's actually more about ability.

Being able to look at your own reflection and not be confused with one's that lurk in the dark.

Monsters that pray on the weak and lable themselves "man"

No.

The kind of father you can always find; who is purposely bad at hide and go seek.

The kind that makes you feel as though living up to their name is one of your life achievements.

The kind that mirrors the example of philogyny, and you don't have to search for the answers in fictional characters.

The kind that is strong.

Strong and confident.

Unafraid or affected by the ways others might view him.

I want to be the kind that embraces the toys scattered all throughout the house. The muddy footprints. The tenth story time and tuck in every night. The 100th kiss; ing that you won't always ask...

You won't need them like you do now. You won't feel like you need them. That one day, the house will be quiet, and I will miss your different tones, your laughter, even your cries.

That will always be the worst goodbye, and that one day, I will need your embrace more.

Hopefully, I will do my job right.

So well, that even though you won't need me anymore; to kiss your pain away, to be your hero, you will still pretend sometimes.

You will still pretend, and I will always rise to the occasion.

I will always act like the hero you need me to be.

I will always be there for you.

As the father you deserve.

The kind we all crave.

(Image is not mine)