𝓘 𝓒𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓗𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓨𝓸𝓾

𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞 [𝟏/𝟎𝟓/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎]

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Hello Lovlies

Welcome To My New Blog!

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─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Hello! I'm posting something that I don't normally post on here, a fan fiction! I don't write a lot of fan-fics, but I was willing to write one for the one ship I will die for.

There is cursing in this, there is like one f-bomb

I don't want to talk about it much more

So please, enjoy

Word Count: 3,098

Time Taken: 3 hours

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

ılı.lıllılıı.ıllı

𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠...🖤🥀

[ Broken Bridge • Daughter]

𝚘.13 ━━ㅇ──── 5.11

[Together Or Not At All • Murray Gold]

𝚘.40 ━━ㅇ──── 3.16

[Once Upon A Time...Storybook Love • Mark Knopfler]

1.03 ━━ㅇ──── 5.11

↻ ◃◁ II ▷▹ ↺

It happened again. Natasha’s eyes flew open, and she was in her room. It was dark and cold; her window was open and she was under her blankets. Well somewhat under her blankets, she had moved a lot in her sleep. She always did that when she had a vivid or intense dream. She always woke up in cold sweats and tangled in her blankets and sheets. She didn’t sleep with much, a few pillows, a couple of blankets and a stuffed animal that Clint had given her. Nobody knew that she slept with it, and she wanted to keep it that way. She kept a pretty good image of being a badass; she didn’t want it ruined by her sleeping with a stuffed animal.

It was raining outside, it had been doing that recently, and it filled Natasha’s room with the sweet smell of petrichor. The air was rich with movement and energy as the rain poured outside. A light filled up Natasha’s room, it was her phone on her bedside table. It was Clint calling. It was the second time during the few days that she had gotten off. She was surprised that he wasn’t calling her more, but he knew her and he didn’t want to get on her nerves. But the weird thing was, he already had.

Natasha was upset with Clint, and she didn’t know why, but she had been feeling like this for a while, but she couldn’t tell if it was since the two had started dating or since the last mission that they had gone on. She really couldn’t answer anyone that asked her if she had tried. Her emotions were something she did NOT want to navigate.

Natasha sat up in bed, moving so that her back was against the wall at the head of the bed. Rubbing her forehead she tried to what she was dreaming about. Most of the time it didn’t matter, but this time she wanted to know what had taken sleep from her. The thunder answered her call and rolled outside. She didn’t think that it would help her , but it sure did.

--------

Get in, get the intel, get out. It was easy. The rain coming down flattened Natasha’s hair sticking it to her black catsuit. On her right was Clint, he kept having to push his hair back out of his eyes. They looked at each other before heading into the building. Clint went first, Natasha followed. It was easy enough, they didn’t run into anyone that would cause a problem, and they were able to get the intel. At least until Natasha took out the jumpdrive. There was a blaring alar that sent them to the ground, not in pain, but in fear.

Natasha looked at Clint, she knew that something was going to go wrong. Ever since the two had started seeing each other things have been going wrong, And it was because there was a new, complex layer to their relationship that was going to send their missions to Hell. But there was no way Natasha was going to let Clint go on another mission with someone that wasn’t herself. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him, she didn’t trust others. She never trusted anyone, and it took her this long to even talk to Clint. But this, right here, sent her anxiety to a whole other level that she was not prepared for.

Clint closed his bow and put his arrow in the quiver that was on her back. He gave her this look of reassurance and all Nat could do was note how his hair was starting to dry and how different it looked from when they had left for the mission. She holstered one gun and then the two made a run for it. She was able to shoot people that got in their way and weren’t ready. It was almost like the path that they were taking was longer than the last, but it was the same path. They eventually got outside and were hit with another blast of rain, and the wind was not helping either of them. Natasha’s hair blew in her face and stuck there and she had to keep pushing it out of the way. Just as they reached the car, a shot rang out. Natasha was able to turn around and take out the person who fired.

It was a van more than a car, but things had to be discreet. Clint threw the door open and the two of them climbed in, soaking wet. There was no laughter like on previous missions, Clint and nat sat down next to each other. Clint was fixing something on his suit and again, all Nat could do was study his face. She had never been involved with anyone before, at least not like this. Clint was different, he was nice, kind, and sweet.

She was pulled from her thoughts when Clint’s hand came from his side and the only word he could bring himself to say was: “Shit.”

--------

The thunder rolled again and Nat blinked a couple of times, back in her room. She brought her knees close to her chest and rested her face on her knees, looking outside the window. She looked calm on the outside, but internally she was pissed. It had been a few weeks since the incident and Nat had been sent out on other missions with other people while he was recovering, and she had finally gotten a couple of days off. She was so mad at Clint and she didn’t even know why. Every time that she woke from this nightmare she would get so angry she would cry. But right now, she had no tears to cry. Not physically, at least. The rain was doing that for her.

phone buzzed again. Probably Clint calling again. He had found out that she had a couple of days off and even though he was known for his sleeping skills, he didn’t stay asleep for too long. He never slept well, it was one thing that Natasha felt bad about. She wished that he could get rest and fully be himself, but at the same time, she knew the struggle. The thunder rolled again, prompting Natasha to get up and stretch a bit before heading back to bed. If she could, that is.

Only a couple second ed and the buzzer to her apartment rang. It could only be one person. The one person that Nat was unjustly pissed at. God, she hated him. She hated him for getting shot. But she wasn’t going to tell him that.

Shrugging on her sweatshirt, that was once Clint’s, she left her bedroom and headed to the door. She opened it and Clint was drenched. The only thing that had started to dry was his hair, just like the night that he had been shot. He was in a zip-up hoodie, a t-shirt, and jeans. All of which were soaked through. Natasha opened up the door and she looked up at the male’s face as he entered her apartment.

There was no justification as to why she had been ignoring his calls other than the fact that she didn’t want to talk to him. But even she couldn’t explain that. She couldn’t rationally explain her feelings for Clint, and she didn’t know if she wanted to. She didn’t understand them, she didn’t want to navigate them, she never has. She had always said that love is for children, but it was very possible that she was a child, begging to be loved. She shook her head as Clint took off his hoodie and laid it over the back of a chair at the table that was in her kitchen/dining room.

He sighed as he rested his hands on his hoodie before turning to look at her. The only light that was in the room was from various lights on the oven, microwave, and street lights outside. Natasha looked at him in fear and took a step back. She had only ever seen Clint this quiet when he had something on his chest and he had to get it off. And the start of it was that sigh, and Natasha knew that she was going to be breaded.

“I’m sorry I haven’t called you…” She said quietly, crossing her arms over her stomach.

“Nat, you haven’t talked to me since I got shot.” Hearing him talk about it so openly just reminded her of the life that the two of them lived.

“Would you like some tea or some water?” She asked him.

She knew full well that his favorite drink was coffee, and she knew that he wasn’t going to accept anything right now. He was doing the one thing that Natasha was just too scared to do, he was feeling things, he was going through emotions and he was doing it openly. When he turned around to look at her, he pushed his blonde hair from his face and crossed his arms over his chest and gave her a disappointed look. That she could take from anyone, but from Clint, it hurt worse, like his approval was what she lived for.

“I’ll have some tea.” He said, but he wasn’t moving to sit down.

Natasha headed towards the cupboard where she kept all her tea and grabbed some lavender tea, she knew that he liked it whenever he had it and lavender was a calming scent and taste. She took the kettle that was hanging above the island/dining table in her kitchen. And just for a second, she looked in his blue eyes and she knew that he wasn’t going to get too upset with her. She filled the kettle and turned on the stove, setting the kettle down on the stove. She took in a deep breath and turned to Clint.

“Nat, I’ve been fuckin’ worried about you. Why didn’t you get back to me?” He asked.

There was no reason that they wouldn’t answer each others calls other than being killed and with their skill, it wasn’t going to happen any time soon.

“I’ve been bus--”

“Bullshit.” he interrupted. He looked pissed, and it was the first time in a long time that Clint looked pissed at her. “You haven’t been busy, I even checked with Coulsen. You’re not busy.” He paused for a second before running his fingers through his hair. “What’s wrong?”

Natasha stayed quiet, she didn’t want to tell him that she was pissed at him, she really didn’t. Especially since she had no real explanation for it and nobody wants to hear how their hated and not know why. Not be given a reason why. She grabbed a couple of tea bags and then a mug. She placed the teabags in the mug and then set the mug on the counter. She could feel Clint’s gaze burning holes in her back and it didn’t take long for her to snap.

She didn’t even know why she did it. There was no rhyme or reason, she guessed it was because he was here and she knew that he wasn’t going to let up in asking her if she was okay or what was on her mind. She didn’t want to suffer through that, hell, she didn’t even want to see him right now. But here he was. She gripped the edge of the counter tightly and took in a deep breath.

“What does how I feel matter to you?” She asked him. “What does it matter?”

She turned around looking at him, and his expression turned from pissed to mighty pissed. He was concerned about her and it was easy to see, it was easy to read. But Natasha just couldn’t understand why someone was concerned about her

“Why does it matter?” He asked, starting to raise his voice. He hadn’t even been here 10 minutes and the two were starting to yell at each other and go at each other’s throats. “Nat, I care about you…” He whispered.

Natasha had moved past the timid soft stage, she had just relived her best friend, her new boyfriend getting shot. “Well too bad. I’m pissed at you.” She said, her voice low and dangerous.

Clint wasn’t scared of Nat, but the anger left his eyes and he gave her a concerned look. That was where the caring side of Clint came out. He uncrossed his arms and took a step back, having to think about what she just said. She could see the confusion and hurt in his eyes, and now she had to try and explain it.

“W-wh-wh-why?” He asked.

Natasha thought for a moment, and she couldn’t come up with anything creative. “I...I don’t know.” She said.

“You don’t know?” He asked, his voice rising again.

Natasha rubbed her eyes with her thumb and pointer finger, her eyebrows furrowed. She really didn’t know why she was so upset. But she wasn’t this angry before she relived watching Clint getting shot.

“I had a bad dream, well, I don’t know.” She said.

Clint knew that Natasha didn’t just have bad dreams, they were her past catching up to her, they were things that she didn’t want to think about, but how that made her pissed at Clint didn’t make any sense. Then it clicked with Natasha. For the first time in a long time, she felt something for someone and she didn’t think she had to be someone else. She was herself.

“The last mission we went on, the one where you got shot?” She paused, taking in a deep breath. “That’s what I dreamed.”

Clint came around the island to give Natasha a hug, and she pushed him away. “You could have died and I could have lost you.” She growled. “You are my family right now, and if I had lost you-” Her voice started to crack and her vision was getting blurry from tears. “I don’t have many people I can lean on, and- and if I had lost you...I-” She stopped and looked at him.

She could feel the tears falling down her cheeks, but Clint was still a blur in her sight. She couldn’t read his facial expression, she couldn’t tell how he was feeling. She closed her eyes to blink away the tears, but she ended up squeezing them shut. She went to wipe the tears from her cheeks and then she felt arms around her. Clint’s warmth surrounding her just made her cry, even more, knowing that he was there.

“I’m here…” He said quietly. “I’m here…”

The kettle started to whistle and it made the two of them jump, and it was Clint who took care of the tea. He took the kettle off the stove and set it to the side that way it didn’t bother either of them. He wasn’t going to take the time to pour the cup of tea, he had to be there for Nat. He turned back to his partner and wrapped his arms around her again.

Natasha wrapped her arms around his middle and rested her head on his chest, listening to his heart. He was here, and she wasn’t going to lose him. She wasn’t going to lose him. She squeezed him tightly and he just responded by holding her even tighter. Natasha slipped from his hug and wiped her face clear of snot and tears with the sleeve of the sweatshirt, but it wasn’t long before the warmth of tears greeted her cheeks again. Clint cupped her face in his hands and Nat just melted into his touch and she could feel his lips press against her forehead before he pressed his own there. His thumbs wiped the tears from her cheeks and his breaths were shaky almost like he was trying to not cry. Natasha placed her hands on his.

“Come here.” His words were just as soft and inviting as his touch and Natasha fell into his arms again.

The two started swaying back and forth to some sort of invisible beat that Clint had come up on his own and Natasha just followed his lead, her arms wrapped around his middle again. Her perfectly fitting into his arms. She was still crying, but it wasn’t as harshly as before. She was also still holding onto him like her life depended on it and Clint only returned the gesture.

It was only a minute or so of improv dancing before Clint realized that Nat was asleep, and it didn’t even occur to Nat. She was tired and emotionally drained. He would never understand the extent of what she felt, and she was thankful for that. She was even more thankful that he wasn’t upset with her for feeling the way she did. So thankful, so maybe that’s why she fell asleep in his arms. She could never say.

But after he laid her in her bed, she woke again. The difference in her weight distribution and the atmosphere woke her up. She was on her side and sitting in the chair across the way of her room in front of her desk was Clint. He wasn’t asleep, he was watching Nat, to make sure that she didn’t have another nightmare. Natasha looked at him and then shifted how she was laying.

“Can you lay by me?” She asked quietly.

She was comfortable with him laying next to her, it wasn’t awkward. She just needed to know that he was there physically and that she was able to reach out and touch him if she needed to. She needed to know that the person that she has labeled as her family wasn’t going to leave her or use her like previous people she considered her family. She saw Clint get up and it wasn’t long before he was lying next to her.

was laying on her back and him on his side, but it didn’t take long for her to roll over on her side and look at him. She tucked her hands under her head and she looked at Clint. He looked worried about her, his big blue eyes swimming with concern. She reached her hand out and touched his cheek.

“I’m not going anywhere…” He said, taking her hand into his.

The rain had stopped for the moment and it was just silence, the clock on the nightstand read 1:05 AM and it wasn’t long before the two fell asleep holding the hands of each other.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I hope that you enjoyed reading this, I know it's long, but I hope that it was worth it.

I hope you all have a wonderful day/evening

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✧✵ .· 　　   ✵ ✫˚            · · .             ·✦ ˚ 　·

.           ⊹   · 　 . *        　    　.. 　　 　 .　　°

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Thanks for reading!

She's not alone

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#curatorreview

#featurethis