Thalia discusses her love life with the former Queen of Artemyra.
Warning: Although this is AU and not part of my fic, it does contain spoilers for how I suspect the future will go. If you want to be surpised, you might want to skip this post <3
“I have a boyfriend.”
At thirty years old, it felt odd to say. Teenagers had boyfriends; adults had spouses. At least, most adults— not Thalia, who had a fraught relationship with the subject of marriage. At twelve, she had run away from home to avoid a betrothal to Nerva Julius Calaudes. Then, at seventeen, she had proposed to two different men, one being Muu Alexius. He was perfect for her— wealthy and powerful, with the resources to take back the country she had lost. In return, she could have given him the only power he lacked, the title of a king. They were a match made by the gods, but all things must have at least one flaw, and their nearly perfect match was no exception.
They did not love each other.
Thalia brushed a lock of hair behind her ear self-consciously, sitting with the renoun fromer queen of Artemyra as though they were equals. They were not. Thalia had long ago lost her status as royalty, given it up in youthful, starry-eyed iration for a boy. Her title was at the bottom of the sea, along with the country she’d once been meant to inherit.
“I hear you’ve had many of those over the years,” Mira said, taking a sip from her cup. “You like powerful men.”
Thalia blinked in disbelief, unable to fathom that a great queen would have heard of her more recent affairs, but Sinbad had warned her that Mira was careful. Perhaps she researched all her visitors.
“I think it’d be more accurate to say I find myself in the company of powerful men more often than not,” Thalia corrected her. “I don’t seek them out, if that’s what you’re insinuating.”
Mira’s smile dripped with both honey and venom. “You merely stumbled into the position of consort to Kou’s first prince?”
No, she had not stumbled. Thalia had known exactly what she was doing when she attempted to seduce Kouen Ren. Al-Thamen had ordered her to wrap him around her finger, and she had tried. To protect someone, she had tried, and she had failed utterly.
At first, it had seemed she was succeeding. He had taken her to his bed, given her expensive gifts and jewelry. It would be a lie if she said she hadn’t enjoyed his attention. She’d thrived on it, and, before she knew it, she was ready to lay down her life for him. He had ended up becoming the seducer. But, when he had suggested marriage, she had fled. Becoming a consort was one thing— there were no strings to tie her to him, no responsibilities. Becoming a legal wife was different.
“I was young and under a lot of pressure,” Thalia explained. “I’m no longer tied by the obligations of my youth.”
“You mean Attica.”
Thalia gripped her skirt. This place, Artemyra, was superficially so similar to the country she had lost. The architecture— the towering columns of white, gleaming marble, the pediments and friezes were uncannily like those of her home country. Yet, the insides of the buildings lacked the colorful frescoes, and where in Attica, people dressed in all different colors, the most popular here was carnation pink. This was the closest Thalia would ever get to returning home, a cheap imitation of the country she loved.
“Yes. I mean Attica.”
“I’m told women there were oppressed,” Mira said offhandedly.
No more than your men, Thalia thought. Though, before Attica had been lost, things had been changing, getting better.
“Your fondness for women is no secret either.” Her tone changed, taking on a more sympathetic tenor. “You’ve taken on a female lover in the past. Was it easy, forgetting the prejudices your old religion fostered?”
So Mira even knew about Denna, it seemed. Thalia had met Denna during her time alone in Balbadd, and they had shared a single whirlwind night together. Forgetting her country’s archaic moral hang-ups hadn’t been hard at all, not when such an opportunity had presented itself before her for the first time in twenty-eight years. How could she have thought about anything but the languid grace that woman emanated, or the rich earthiness of her voice?
“It was as natural as breathing,” Thalia answered truthfully. “I waited for the shame to come, but it never did.”
“You loved her,” Mira mused, sitting upright.
“As well as you can love anyone you’ve known for less than a day,” Thalia replied. “I wanted to love her. I wanted to get to know her, but she left.” She leaned forward, picking up the porcelain cup in front of her and sipping its bitter contents. “I suppose that’s for the best.”
“Oh?” Mira raised an eyebrow, leaning in intently. “And why is that?”
Because weeks later, he had found her. The one she had begged to marry her before she had resigned herself to her clandestine engagement to Muu Alexius, the one who she had given her country to, the one she had abandoned to protect, the one whose face had flashed into her mind when Kouen had proposed, the one whose old office she had brought Denna back to that night, the one who she’d never let go of.
Sinbad.
Thalia smiled weakly into her cup. They’d been together for two years, and he hadn’t spoken a word about marriage. They had agreed early on to keep their relationship open. It had been her idea because she knew he wasn’t the type to truly commit. He’d never taken advantage of their arrangement, but she was too afraid to ask him for his full devotion. In their relationship, she was always the one who made sacrifices. She was the one who compromised, and if she tried to change that now, she might lose him.
“Because I have a boyfriend.”
A boyfriend, not a husband. She would never have a husband.
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