the search

𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎?

song by syml

*gore warning

it was gloomy. beads of rainwater pelted the moist earth, which was enshrouded in a dark veil of the moon’s reign. an ebony silhouette moved through the landscape, blending with the dusky setting. the pitter patter of water droplets meeting their descent’s end; the splash of puddles disturbed by paw steps. an arc of light split the sky above in half, illuminating the woods for a heartbeat and revealing the wolf weaving through the underbrush.

the heavens roared its thunder as the beast reached the entrance of a cavity in the great land formation - a cave suitable for a den. his paws carried him inwards. the shelter provided relief from the pearls of condensation. wetness seeped deep into his body, piercing his 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜.

”𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎?“

his voice came, calling out into the abyss of the stone hollow. he sought something particular - the familiar warmth that usually greeted him in reply when he arrived from his routine duty of providing for his little family. there was no response.

he called again, this time a twinge of unease lacing his words, descending further into the shelter. his heart leapt to his throat. his tired, sunken eyes searched every corner, every crevice, but to no avail. he was alone.

gathering in the night and cold rain? he wished she had waited for his return - he would have gladly retrieved anything for her if she desired fresh berries or herbs. what if she caught a cold?

the masculine hound approached the hole of the cave, peering out into the dreary forest clouded in onyx hues and falling rain. his chest was tight, coiling in trepidation. the water washed away scents anew - tracking would be useless. his body dipped as he laid himself down just outside the pitiful landscape. his head remained held high, ears pricked and eyes alertive, surveying the eerie horizon. silent hopes of safety for another poured from his soul.

a small while ed. the time changed, but all was the same.

thoughts of doubt swirled in his mind. was he not a good enough provider? unworthy of his mate’s affection and bearing. 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚞𝚗 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢? a low, mournful whine ebbed from his throat, sad eyes looking onwards. 𝚒𝚏 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢, 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎.

dread crept into his consciousness like an undesirable visitor, questioning his own reasoning. no - it could not be true. his female, he knew her; she was loyal to a fault, and loved him so. it was late for one to be out wandering. something was amiss.

the wolf, dark as the midnight firmament, lifted himself and left sanctuary. into the obscure torrent he headed. seeking his lifeline - his reason for being.

the downpour soaked his matted fur, drenching him in a sodden chill. the angry cosmos highlighted the sable heavens above with cracks of sun - the following booming claps portraying menacing warnings. he disregarded nature’s deterrent, surging onwards with loud cries that embraced her name forlornly.

an incorrigible desperation weighed heavily on his back as he searched the forest abyss. his chest was tight with despair - unease crumpling his guts. 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎. inky shadows swathed the woodland. rainwater battered the earth and his pelt. lightning striked and thunder roared.

he 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑, 𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝. sopping wet, trudging through the wet terra. thoughts of her clouded his mind - of her tender beauty; of her sweet wits; of the forever future he planned to spend with her at his flank. the soft, affectionate contemplation was gradually marred by uncertainty. his heart pounded. veins heated. 𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚊 𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍 - no, he couldn’t bear pondering over the possibility for even a mere moment.

a familiar setting ahead - in the clear daytime, thick undergrowth adorned with beads ripened in an array of colors and lush greenery. a natural garden of berries and enthralling vegetation. in the veil of darkness, it was not so enchanting - the silhouettes of bush casted daunting shadows upon the domain; the jagged thicket rearing up in sinister towers plagued with ebony. a colorless, ominous scene.

as the wolf approached, his bothered gaze strained in the blurry torrent, making out a strangely still frame lying in the muddied clearing. the tantalizing aroma of blood tickled his senses, mouth pooling with saliva. the descending water washed the metallic substance away in streams of crimson. the discarded carcass was big, seemingly belonging to a deer. if he were not so drowned in worry, perhaps he would have paused to feast on the delicious meal.

he moved on, eyes surveying the eerie landscape until they settled upon a fallen tinder woven pouch that he recognized, tiny round fruits as scarlet as the blood having tumbled from its sack. it was as if lightning had struck his very core - there was a burst of hot flash that melted his flesh, veins doused in a fiery path, making the male immobile as he stood, soaked to the bone and dripping wet, gaze unable to stray from the limp body before him.

curled in the fetal position. tufts of familiar hued fur concealed beneath crimson stains. soft skin ripped open at the belly. intestine contents spewing. a mutilated body, but its eyes were shut, as if simply sleeping.

barely a tingle was felt in his body. he was numb as his paws carried him onwards slowly. they halted their movements when he was above the creature, looking down. at the once-full belly of his lover, now heinously emptied of its matter and littering the corse. from the gaping hole in the stomach, ropes and snag pieces of entrails cascaded. the pieces of his little family - both offspring and mate.

it was a nightmare. he wasn’t awake; couldn’t be. his dim eyes were wide, unable to look away from the harrowing sight and reality that faced him.

she /had/ left him. the fear that enveloped his soul rang true. 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚟𝚎. cradling her unborn pup - or multiple. abandoning him and stealing every sliver of joy in his life. his spirit as dead as her body.

his head dipped, pressing his forehead to hers - as a wave of agony overcame him, sobs erupting from his throat and wracking his masculine frame in sorrowful shakes. and then, he reared his head up to the merciless ebony sky to release a heart-wrenching, mournful howl.

the rain continued to pour. the shadows of the nighttime remained constant. the nocturnal critters still croaked. the world kept moving, meanwhile he had just lost his.

𝚘𝚑, 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎?