Where did we go? | Love Challenge :rice_ball: :cherry_blossom:

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Hai peeps! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

This is my application to Love Challenge.

This poem is a poem I wrote. I have all credits for this and this is not allowed to be copied in any way.

:warning: TW: This poem contains the topic heartbreak and pain. This may be triggering to anyone who has had (several) bad experiences with this in the past. :warning:

Before starting off I want to mention this poem is written about a certain person. This is why I kept the person anonymous and I won’t be mentioning any names either related to them. This poem isn’t in any way meant as throwing shade towards this person.

Last but not least, I’d say, let’s jump right in.

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Where did we go?

Yesterday evening, 13th of February 2021, 03:24 am. It was dark. My red puffy eyes followed the outline of the dark figures which formed theirselves into houses the more my eyes got used to all the black which filled my vision. I have two windows in my room, yet it was not a blind choice what window I would choose to stare out that night. As another tear rolled down my soft cheek, I swiped through my device as it only had 3 procent left, adjusting my headphones so I wouldn’t loose the music I was listening to, the only thing keeping me from feeling completely alone. “I feel like I could actually grow old with you, I don’t know... everything just feels so right.” were the words I mumbled under my breath which I read off of the Snapchat screenshot, as a feeling of sharp pain hit my chest. Grabbing onto the windowsill I threw my head back and squeezed my eyes together, letting out a scream in pain that went through marrow and bone. It was loud... yet actually so silent that the only sound that would roll off of my lips was a soft squeak.

I hate you. I loathe you. I dispise you. I dispise you for all the things you put me through. I dispise you for all the things you blamed me, of which you knew just as well as I did I didn’t deserve the blame for. I dispise you for all the lies you told me, giving me the feeling like you stabbed me through the heart when I found out the truth. I dispise you for using me for your own good for whenever you had wished to have me, dropping me directly after that again.

I dropped to the ground as my hand reached to my neck, gasping desperately for air as my lungs were giving up on me. “But I love you...”

As I finished this sentence under my breath my lungs filled theirselves with O2 again while I dropped the hand around my neck and made it lie next to me piecefully.

“I love you...” I repeated again, my eyes dancing over the ceiling. If there was one thing I wish It wouldn’t be true and all just a lie, it would be those 3 words.

I love you. I adore you. I miss you.

I miss your hand cupping my cheek, which I putting on my cheek myself because you were too shy to put it on yourself. I miss the giggle in your voice when you were whispering “we kiss too much” as you only wanted me to deny that statement, being followed by me pulling you in again as our lips met, which I did everytime I heard you repeat that sentence again. I miss the hand running down my back as I was ordering the chicken nuggets we wanted to eat that noon, me trying to stay as calm as possible, while the butterflies in my stomach were actually going crazy by your touch.

I got up on my legs, making my way back to the window I had deliberately chosen to look out that night, since it made it possible for me to look in the direction of where you lived. It made me feel close to you. I didn’t want it to feel like that, but it did.

You always told me you wanted to fight for me, and I wanted to same. You would be my wife and I would be yours. You were my soulmate, because who could ever replace you and the way you made me feel.

Where did the fighting spirit go. Where did the “you’re the only one for me” go? Where did the “I want to grow old with you” go?

Where did we go, baby?

As all these questions kept on repeating in my head I felt my heart beating in my chest, it’s speed increasing every minute. My heart... that was only beating for you at some point.

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Thank you for taking your time to read my poem. Let me know what you think of it in the comments.

Have a great day! :rice_ball: :cherry_blossom:

#LoveChall

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